Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
I am fretting that I gave away too many details in the posts I made. That someone who knows both me and my NPD OM (or the OM himself) will somehow see these threads, figure out who they are about and then I will be in danger. I know my OCD causes excessive worry...but is it excessive?
Does this group have an admin, or is it unmoderated?
On the other hand, I feel kind of numb and like a shell of myself. I feel like...if he wants to come after me, bring it on...I made my bed.
Does this group have an admin, or is it unmoderated?
On the other hand, I feel kind of numb and like a shell of myself. I feel like...if he wants to come after me, bring it on...I made my bed.
I meant to write to you when I saw your first thread. I was diagnosed with OCD years ago and it was extremely severe at one point but relatively manageable today. I have heightened anxiety too and, yes, I also have worried about being "discovered" through these threads but then I try to keep it in perspective. You should be just fine :)
Also, as you continue coming to these boards, you will be shocked by how much our stories start to blend in and sound alike. Try not to stress too much!
Hugs!
Jeanne
There is really only the one thread that concerns me, but I will try to relax about it...and let the chips fall where they may.
What can this OM do to you, realistically? He could tell your husband but that's a possibility that's been in your mind from day one, hasn't it? I don't think anyone goes into an affair without concerns over what will happen if it is discovered. One way to deal with anxiety is to run through the scenario in your mind, prepare for it. What would you say if your husband knew and confronted you? How would that feel? If the scene is intolerable, then you could consider what you can do ahead of time to affect how the scene would play out.
It really sounds like this OM has gained some control over you, cornered you into continuing at whatever level. How long will that go on? What if he's not willing to just let go after your event? What will it take to break free? Mine wouldn't stop playing his game until his wife found out, but yours has nothing to lose.
If he is creeping your posts here, why not let him find you gaining strength and making a plan to be rid of him?
Where I talked about his attacking me with his puppets, though, anyone who saw the exchange I refer to could figure it out. I think it would be absolutely intolerable for him to be 'found out', because he has an image to uphold. He posts often about his old -fashioned values, his love of God, family, etc. I can see the hypocrisy, but others fall all over him and praise him to the skies. To have his hypocrisy revealed might mean that he comes after me, perhaps physically. Just my thoughts.
Having said that, chances are likely very remote that anyone I know would stumble over that thread, but i don;t know for certain.
I am unsure at the present what my status is with the OM. He has yet to contact me since he bailed on me on Saturday. The longer he stays away, the stronger I feel. I hope he never contacts me again. I won't have 'closure', but I think closure can be overrated.
TantricGoddes...I know. Believe me, I know. I am taking the easy way out by hoping that he is done with me. However, he has been commenting on some of my stuff on FB and that is usually a sign that he is coming around. We'll see. I will tell him that there is no point in talking about seeing me as long as I live more than ten minutes away from him...