The thoughts from your post and previous posts reminds me of how my wife talks about her affair.

She had a great life but the immaturity and selfishness didn't allow her to realize it until it was about get washed away.

She ended an affair that was ~2 years and confessed a few months later.

I think the fact that she ended it on her own and confessed on her own was what allowed me to even entertain the idea of reconciling.

Like you she was fully remorseful and saw who she was and what she threw away. She got into IC right away and does everything she can to help me heal.

It's only been three months and perhaps your husband will give you chance once he can bring himself to communicate with you again.

Work as hard as you can to grow in character and live a morally sound life in the meantime.

He may decide that he no longer wants to be in the marriage but this is a decision he has to make for his own sanity and health.

Regardless you should still continue to become a person who can be in a healthy relationship. I will pray that he will give you a second chance as you seem like someone who has real intent to change and take responsibility for her actions.

I too cheated over 2 years ago. I never in a million years thought I would ever do something like that. And if my husband ever cheated, I know I personally wouldn't be able to move past it and trust him again so I told him I would completely understand if he couldn't move past it. I was devastated and didn't want him to leave but I also don't want to have my ridiculously stupid mistakes hung over my head for the rest of my life. We underwent counseling (together and apart) for about 8 months. It seemed to help a lot and I thought things were so much better than they had ever been in our marriage. Now, over 2 years later and seriously, every single time I try to talk to him about anything that's bothering me, he turns it into a fight and brings up my cheating. I completely understand that I was a piece of shit for what I did. I understand that. However, it seems to be his scapegoat for every single thing that comes up. And each time he throws it in my face, I get more and more depressed. Just last week I was seriously contemplating suicide he made me feel so bad. So my advice to you is it may be better to stop worrying about him and to find yourself and do things to love and nurture and care for you. It is hard on kids to have a broken home, that's a whole different set of issues in and of itself, HOWEVER, if you are sad and unhappy and miserable because you're staying and allowing him to hold this over you, I promise your kids will be sad and miserable right along with you. I hope you find peace and comfort and a solution that works best for you. I just don't want to see anyone feel as hurt and alone as I have these last two years.

Ok, so he's had 3 months to show you how the A has affected him by living the high life & ruining your lives financially. 3 months is not a long time for a BS but in this case if you don't act fast you may not have a home by the time he makes his "decision". I'd have a talk with him & tell him both of you need counseling & if he says no, get yourself to an attorney to before he bankrupts the family!