Cheaters and Betrayeds Helping Each Other Community Group
This is a group where cheaters and betrayeds can come to try to help each other better understand infidelity from the perspective of the other side because understanding can often lead to healing. Members can ask each other questions, share experiences, and provide insights and opinions without judgments or animosity. If you have a chip on your shoulder, an axe to grind,...
Background- I'm the OW. I hate even typing that because I hate myself for it. We've been together over a decade- before she came around. (They were dating.....got pregnant....they got married, etc. I DID break it off at that point and kept no contact but he broke it after a few months and I made a mistake and responded and thought we could be just friends- but I was wrong. Lesson learned.) We do love each other. It's just not enough obviously. And I dont want him to leave his family.....I want to leave and I've been trying to relocate out of state because I felt that was the only way we could be successful with no contact and I could move on with my life.
She saw a text message last night. It was referring to something sexual from years ago (before them actually) but in the past tense. At that very moment- I knew that we were done. She sent me a text message asking if I'm involved with him. They have 2 small children. I didnt want to cause her pain. I thought about not responding because I was afraid it would lead to more questions.....but then she may have assumed the worst and make herself crazy having no response. So after thinking about it for a little while I responded no- nothing going on and she wrote back saying that my text hurt her and she thanked me for responding. I apologized for any misunderstanding. And that was that.
Was that the right thing to do? I had an opportunity to tell the truth- but I didn't take it. I did not want to cause her, or their family, that kind of pain. And we really are done now.
I will change my number. I will maintain no contact and I will get a therapist and move on with my life.
She saw a text message last night. It was referring to something sexual from years ago (before them actually) but in the past tense. At that very moment- I knew that we were done. She sent me a text message asking if I'm involved with him. They have 2 small children. I didnt want to cause her pain. I thought about not responding because I was afraid it would lead to more questions.....but then she may have assumed the worst and make herself crazy having no response. So after thinking about it for a little while I responded no- nothing going on and she wrote back saying that my text hurt her and she thanked me for responding. I apologized for any misunderstanding. And that was that.
Was that the right thing to do? I had an opportunity to tell the truth- but I didn't take it. I did not want to cause her, or their family, that kind of pain. And we really are done now.
I will change my number. I will maintain no contact and I will get a therapist and move on with my life.
And I'm sorry for you about the love lost. I know that hurts. There is more to life out there for you, even better if you permanently close off this chapter.