Vincent,
mentality is hard to explain, but I will try my best to explain the way it effected me...

Each morning I would awake, and think to myself, what the heck am I living for.. I felt depressed , sad, and lonely. Yet in the back of my mind, I knew I had a lot to be grateful for. And amazing husband and son. But for some odd reason I just felt empty and sad. I started gambling to escape these feeling, so I didn't have to feel them. And would just the euphoria feeling of winning.
That was the only way I could escape for a little while.
Everything seemed to hurt me, and I just couldn't handle or cope with things...

I did have a lot on my shoulders, looking after ill parents,running around taking care of them all the time, a couple of deaths... having to put my dog to sleep, (that dog was my only comfort in the world, the one thing that brought me pleasure)..
Lots of work problems, with me being the target of co-workers, yet I was working my guts out, helping everyone else, but not getting the recognition for it, instead they felt that I was trying to move in on their jobs, but I was just covering their butts...
I didn't want their jobs.
Then my step father died, I had to take care of everything, then learnt my mother had left her entire estate to my brother, yet I had been the one taking care of her.

All these things destroyed me inside..
I got to the point that I couldn't watch the news or read the news, because all of it weighed me down and just churned me up more.

I wanted to be left alone , I got to the point, I didn't want anyone to come near me, because they would just sadden me, I started to become cold towards people...and just shut them out. Like trying to place a brickwall in front of me...because I found that when people that had hurt me came near, I would start shaking and my stomach would be churning round , I would feel sick, I just couldn't handle the hurt. I would become angry and lash out, and then just go on as if I didn't have the anger outburst.
Sadly it was my son and husband that would cop the anger outbursts... and they would think geez, talk about an over reaction.

I am a giving type person, and it was so difficult for me, to cope with who I was becoming, it just wasn't me at all....

Thankfully I got help in time.... and started on the GF...
I couldn't believe the turn around...how food could change the way I handled situations.
I think of it as feeling fresh...
All the same work situations presented themself, but for some reason, I didn't frett and stress and worry consistantly about tiny things.. I just took them onboard, and then moved forward.
Where as before, my brain wouldn't stop going over and over it... I was getting no sleep at all, nightmares and just couldn't relax and settle.
Things still do concern me, but I am no longer beating myself up over the problems...

In someways, my celiac and going GF does alinate me from people, and does stop me from traveling and socialising, or I hate having to explain my food issues.
But to have more peace of mind, and sleep, and a clamer outlook on problems, is a pretty good trade I think.

As I have said before...
I felt as if I were living with a heavy heavy wet blanket over me... trying to go through life shrouded by it...the heaviness and discomfort of it always consuming me...
then going GF.... it felt as if that blanket had been lifted off me... and just made things so much easier to cope with.

Well I can tell you this - I'm PISSED off. I miss all the yummy foods I used to be able to eat. Last night it was late, I had some bread w/me and I was hoping against hope that a sub shop would make me a sub. Of course they wouldn't.

I want doughnuts, cookies, cake, pie, beer....FRIED FISH. You name it, I want it and I've been on this durn diet for over 10 years and since I am VERY sensitive, I am VERY careful. As a result, I feel so VERY deprived......

I can relate to just about all you said, one way or another, including the dog and the inheritance teh gambling ( recovering addict here) as well as the emotioanl healing.I,m giving up cigarettes atm and boy, it feels the same as if I was off my diet. Very interesteng.
I am finding out more and more about this debiliating disorder, which just astounds me.
I never knew it could be as damaging to the system and body as well as a persons mental health.
I was thinking about what happens when I am off my diet as I accidently ate some of the base of a cream chocolate pie base on sunday.(t looked innocent but I didnt check) Out came Mr Hyde. He,s all powerful and can handle anything and anyone.THen Mr Jeckle, remorsefull and depressed and unable to settle. Needless to say I kept away from everybody all week. ONce i,m ignited I cant stop myself until the mood stops and by then its too damn late, the damage is done. I really dont know how I made it this far with any friends lol
Celiac pervades the entire body and mind and has no mercy if ignored for too long. I,m just greatful that i found out whn I did and have religeously stuck with a g/f diet. Of course there are mistakes and slip ups and even some concious decisions to eat something wrong along the way and very tricky along the way wto a new dietary beginning, but well worth the effort.
Thanx for sharing
Tc VIncent13

HI, USF1970 I can remmeber the cravings and the dissapointments. Its a totally poor pity me thing. lol But hey, I started to create my own delicious treats, as i slowly forgot about what I couldnt have and had to give up. It takes time but yeah, discipline is a learned thing. It dont come easy even after I was sick i would still include foods pre g/f that I knew I shouldnt.
I always felt I couild get away with it, but no, the next day or so, i would be a mess and really, I had to start taking responsiobilty fro what i was sying and doing to others. Celiac fro me is like having a mental illness. NOt a lot of differnece except I do know I am unwell after an attack. As i mentioned I dont know what other symptoms other pple have, but i,m sure mood swings gets a mention in most celiac sufferers.
10 years is a long time to get used to something and i,m sure you do the right things but yeah. I still get the cravings for some things, I just choose not to.
Tc Vincent

USF1970: I'm so sorry you've been so unhappy for over 10 years, but it is time now, for you to step up to the plate and take charge of your life !! You can have doughnuts, cookies, cake pie, beer and FRIED FISH - BUT MAYBE NOT AS CONVENIENTLLY AS BEFORE. There are so many sources of GF recipes and you can make just about anything, if you put your mind to it.

For example, go to http://www.gluten.net/recipes/ and also
www.csatulsa.org and you will find many great "from scratch" recipes. Since you are VERY SENSITIVE, the best way to be safe is to make your own food, then you KNOW what is in it!!

There are quite a number of other sites listed in other posts/threads of DS, plus a lot of good information. It would be beneficial to go back and read old posts - there is a lot of info to be found there.

Happy hunting and happy cooking!!

Well for me, Ive been able to eat anything Ive ever wanted my whole life and all of a sudden I couldnt eat freakin anything! I had a traumatic event that happened to me and now it seems as if something was triggered thus I have Celiacs. Ive herd of people who ate small doses of wheat and such and got over it. Then I try to do the same and I feel like crap! I run sooo fast to the toilet and hang out there for a while. lol I am soo angry about having CD and I always feel like I need something to fill a void. I cant fill my gut full enough with GF food and never feel sat. It really sucks!

WOW... I can feel your frustration Paulfrank546.. Did your tests reveal Celiac disease, Adult Sprue, or A wheat allergy...I was thinking Crone's disease as well. NOt to alarm you, but you didint mentioned how you were diagnosed.
Its such a sudden change you have undergone in your diet, are you vegetarian as some non veg. pple complain of an empty feeling from being on that diet.
Protein is the filler when it comes to feeling full after a meal. Meat, cheese, fish and chicken are some. Rice is also very filling as is rice pasta's and also vermivcelli noodles are great as well as the thick rice ones.
I feel your very early in your dietary changes, but in time you will learn what fills you up, tastes the best and is wholesome and healthy for you.
Its really weird that my neice has a wheat allergy but she says she can eat gluten. I cant eat gluten but used to eat different parts of the grain. Wheatgerm, wheat starch and wheat sugar, I have since stopped tho due the the contamination from processing, unless stated otherwise on the product.
Also, anything on G/F toast or snadwiches is very filling altho mine are small slices.
I went to a dinner party last night and was greeeted with a chicken n rice pasta dish, quite unbeknown to me.
My friends know i have Celiac and they also thought the dish was extemely good and that the rice pasta was lighter than egg noodle pasta but still very filling they said.
Really, I think now that your on here, you will gradually find some great exciting dishes, as well as being happier about your beliefs being altered.
Hopefully you can come to terms with the fact that this diet is for life.
Good luck and lets here some more about how your managing.
Every one seems so supportive and helpful on here Ive found, just give it time and the patience may follow lol.

Tc xxx

Vincent13 xxx

Unfortunately, for many celiacs this is not "in your mind".
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11346203?dopt=abstract

I asked the witch doctor,
he told me this is hard to explain:

celiac disease stimulates the immune system with interferon-g
interferon-g stimulates something called IDO
IDO destroys tryptophan, a chemical involved with mood.
some think that is to help you rest "until you fell better"

when interferon is used medically, some report that
anti-depressants may not work properly with low tryptophan
there are reports using tryptophan as, or combined with,
an antidepressant, works better.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18794514

other studies suggest that turmeric,
which is known to have anti-depressant properties
can slow the IDO destruction of tryptophan
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19075017


Always double check with your doctor
Always triple check that you are gluten-free

blessed be

niHassa


turmeric can slow the destruction of tryptophan

so many people who are ill also suffer from depression
why aren't people with additional illnesses or conditions
included in testing the effectiveness of prescription antidepressants?

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-04/uops-awc042809.php

Let\'s face it your body is an organism designed to survive. Every system is dependant on the rest working properly. The reasons for mental problems with Celiac are simple are straight forward when taking this into consideration.

First, the brain needs fuel to function properly. Deprived of adequate fuel, the brain begins to pump adrenalin into the body in order to provide energy to hunt down needed energy to survive. This causes moods swings, depression, ect when allowed to continue without sufficient energy going to the brain.

The other part of the equation: The body starts to digest itself in order to survive the "famine". That causes severe pain and suffering. No one thinks twice about a cancer patient becoming depressed when they suffer severe pain.

Once the GF diet is started and adhered to strictly, these problems will start to dissipate UNLESS the starvation has gone on long enough to cause permanent damage to the body. In that case, a good doctor who can treat the permanent physical damage needs to treat the ongoing physical problems.

THat all makes pretty good sense to me catlovesdi. THank you. and thanx to the other replies too... Ive been slack..
Back on a mild antidepressant, Endep it seems to have taken the edge of some of the current syptoms. Had been off all meds for 15 months, but started having degrees of paranoia.
ALwyas around the same time too. Anxiety based b/s i think brings it on but I am copeing really well atm.
Thanx again tc xxx

HSTAR,

I guess you don't have any permanent damage from the celiac disease. I have permanent nerve damage in my legs from celiac. They hurt so bad that I toss my cookies when I try to cook from scratch. It always tastes so good that my family eats it all up before the pain subsides enough for me to get a taste.

From scratch is not for all of us. Some of us permanently lost parts of life that we can never get back no matter how hard we try.