I hope this is the right place to post this. I've made a mistake & now trying my best to minimize the damage: I adopted a cat. Yep. You would think this is not the end of the world or so dramatic, but tell that to the one & only Miss Minnie. Whatever was I thinking?

Who is Miss Minnie? Ah, she thinks she's the Queen of Sheba. She is Diva. I mistook her longing looks at her reflection for loneliness, thinking she wanted a friend. Alas, she was simply preening & I misread the cues.

How was I to know? So I adopted a Passive adult Male, since she is definitely a Dominant 7 year old Female.

And with the world's slowest introduction, Miss Minnie is still Not Having It.

I adopted Truman Catpote (yep, you read that right) on September 3rd. Already had the Feliway Comfort Zone Diffuser plugged in. But that was not enough, so supplemented with daily spraying of Feliway in several areas, including by Truman's door (he was kept strictly to the bathroom for over a week). Minnie continued to Hiss & Moan. When exchanging toys was not working to peak her curiosity, I began to feed them on either side of the door. That did not curry favor either.

I have since been reading up on Cat Intros via the website "My Cat from Hell" -- a popular reality show that was recommended to me (I don't get Cable TV). So I began to "swap scents" using a dry cloth to wipe down Truman, and then put his cloths in Minnie's favorite spots. When she seemed to simmer down after awhile (because she hissed at the cloths), I began to let him walk all around while she was placed in his bathroom, to further swap scents via their paws & cheek glands. This was another phase to the incredibly slow introduction.

One thing that does not work -- which I read online and wish to share here as a warning: Do not use His brush on Her. Like I said, it was suggested online, but it really set us back a bit. Minnie almost attacked me in the process.

Eventually, I tried to crack the door a bit. And that was met with Minnie charging at it, full hiss & vinegar.

As we were experiencing a heatwave, I had to put Truman in the kitchen with a screened door Securely in place, so I could open the bathroom door & let the air conditioning flow out to the adjoining hallway. The cats seemed okay with this arrangement for the day. I had to go out to a Dr appointment. When I got home, the screened door had popped out. And Truman was found atop the cat tree in the other room, Miss Minnie crouched on the ground, growling.

*Sigh*

So I figured the introduction was fully made -- since the proverbial cat was "out of the bag" -- I might as well let things be. The only thing I kept consistent was his "home base" with his food, water, box in the bathroom -- and put him in the bathroom overnight (to avoid cat fights atop my bed).

Long story longer: Truman wound up with an abscess on his paw. All I can think is that Miss Minnie bit him at some point. He's declawed (I didn't know this prior to adopting him). He's very passive, but he stands his ground with her. And when he gets fed up with her conniptions, he charges at her-- almost playful (but perhaps fear aggressive?). Otherwise, he usually will lie on the floor, belly up, 5 feet away from her. He's very trusting. Poor fella.

Meanwhile, I had been trying a "Calming Collar" for Minnie (which inflamed her allergies as it has a very strong scent -- UGH), added a liquid to put in their water called "Calm Down" (which didn't work-- I was tempted to start drinking it straight from the bottle, myself -- and No, Rescue Remedy Does NOT work either).

Finally, Minnie was put on Xanax. The Vet prescribed too high a dose, clearly unfamiliar with dispensing this med. And MInnie couldn't walk & subsequently fell down the stairs. (She was ok, but I've been a nervous wreck!) When I researched the proper dose for cats -- Minnie continued to have difficulty with her hind end coordination. So, she would wind up sitting & growl. And sleeping. A lot.

But it didn't change her approach to Truman. When he went to kiss her (he really wants to be friends so badly), she woke with a start and snarled at him. Poor Tru is so confused! :(

It was during this time that he developed the abscess on his paw -- and so I have kept the cats separate ever since. So his paw can heal properly, I kept the E-collar on him and kept him in his room, so Miss Minnie wouldn't freak out. I would keep her in the kitchen when I let him out to roam freely for a while.

Now we're at the point where I'm trying the last thing I can think to do. I put them both in separate carriers, facing them toward each other about 6 feet apart, and feed each a portion of yummy chicken babyfood. Minnie eats & growls at the same time. I don't know how she does it, or where she gets her energy to keep up this level of animosity. This session lasts about 20 minutes.

Tonight -- after 3 nights of the same aggravating result -- I let her out of her carrier (which she has come to love -- as she's associating it with the baby food!) and let her walk around freely while he remains in his carrier. It's too early to know if this may work. She continues to hiss & moan, but she's not lunging at his carrier. He hates being in his carrier -- it upset him so much, he pooped in it tonight. That, or he's very distressed by her behavior :(

I can't return him to the kill-shelter. He's a good boy and a love bug.

I wish I could find her a home that does not have other cats in it, as she's clearly territorial and jealous. She grew up between 2 big Labrador Retrievers, so I thought she would be fine with cats. My Mistake.

I've only had her for a year. She was my mother's cat for the 1st 3 years. That's where the dogs were. When Mom had to move to a retirement community, Minnie became my sister's cat for the next 3 years. My sister was afraid of Minnie's tendency to bite and would use spray bottles on her.

Minnie moved in with me a year ago. I immediately engaged her in more playtime, to work out her aggression & stimulation. I rarely needed the spray bottles unless she was hurting me, which was really infrequent. She would nip me (without breaking skin) when she had enough pets or being held. I didn't punish her unless she attacked me without warning.

Clearly Miss Minnie enjoyed being the only pet in my place, getting all the loving & attention, while setting her boundaries with me (yep - she has me well trained). She used to sit on my lap all the time -- she won't do that anymore with Truman here (altho' at the beginning, when he was out & about, she perched on my lap and snarled at him -- as if to say: "MINE! MINE!").

I live in too small a place -- there are few escape routes. She has claimed the kitchen as her turf (which I have her confined to all day, unfortunately) and He has claimed the bathroom as his own. My bedroom/living area is shared by Truman during the day and by Minnie overnight.

This is an exhausting process. It's been over a month now. Although she doesn't hiss at his scent anymore (1 point to the Good), she still spazzes when she sees him on the other side of the screened door (1 point to the Bad).

Does Anyone have any kind of experience with this? Any other suggestions beyond what I am doing? I wondered about the "Thundershirt" -- but I doubt she'll let me fit her in a big coat thing. I've stopped using the Xanax as it seemed to be more detrimental than good. I use cat treats when desirable behavior is exhibited. And at night, I continue to feed each their portion of canned food on either side of the door. She will not touch her portion until sometime during the night, when he's not even near the door.

Help!

Thanks for Reading!

**Sorry So Long!**