Caring For Aging Parents Support Group

Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.

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MariaStevie 09/01/2011

As I posted before my sibling and half-sibling are eager to get inheritance. I cared for my mom and she passed on months ago. Now am caring for my dad. No help from siblings.

Dad is thinking of changing Will. My half-sibling was not on original because he didn't treat our mom well and was out of her life for most of it. Now Dad wants to put him on (he is dad's step-son) for a small percentage just to keep him at bay because he is greedy and spiteful. He wants to increase my share by a small percentage because I am caring for him and cared for my mom alone and gave up jobs to do so. My other sibling will get 5% less because she has pension and is retiring with her husband. I don't have a husband and raised a child alone without help from the dad.

I am feeling guilty because the Will is being changed from what my mother had signed.

Thoughts?

deleted_user 09/01/2011

You have no reason to feel guilty. You mom gave all her money/property to your dad when she died. Now your dad owns all the property. It is his property to do whatever he chooses. He can give it all to you or none to you. Its his choice. You dad is not bound too do what your mom would have done had she survived your dad. And if you get the property and dont want it, give it away to somebody else or dont accept it.

MariaStevie 09/01/2011

Thanks Jeff. My dad does have a right to change his Will. I will rest with the knowledge that I did a lot to care for both my parents and my siblings chose not to help out and so the Will reflects that.

deleted_user 09/01/2011

One suggestion is to have your dad share these changes with your siblings when he makes them. It will make things much easier for you later on since they may think you influenced him to do this. Also make sure the lawyer signs an affidavit that your dad is competent to make these changes and is doing so of his own will....the last thing you need is a challenge to the will someday.

peaceful 09/02/2011

Tigg2 hit the point right on. The lawyer and affidavit re competency.
Also, the part about sharing with the siblings that updates were made.
That is in particular if they have known the original will. Perhaps the will may be a trust that makes you a co trustee with him on the estate. It makes tangible goods pass easily. See the Atty.

My Mom is on her 5th revision of beneficiaries.In 18 months. She gets mad at people and reassigns division of savings. One of her jaunts, she was mad at me and was going "cut me out." She also accused me of elder abuse falsely. So, I called an atty and the center for Alz and Dementia in my home town. It was a really stressful time. I learned that one can go into probate before or after death. It determines competency and rights inheritance.
Can be a mess and will cost a lot of pain and money potentially.

So, go carefully into this.

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