Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.

Hey everyone, where did we all go from this forum? Not much activity since the change over. We've had lots going on at my house. Two visits in late Sept and early Oct from my brother and sister. My mother ended up getting ill the day before my brother flew home in Oct. Diagnosed a few days later with a mild chest infection. X-Ray's showed a small pneumonia in her right lung. This took almost 3 weeks and two more dr. visits to get her well. The blame game went on for the first two weeks of her being ill. One sibling was blaming the other for taking her out and about too often. Mom herself was blaming the two of them... My sister called me at one point informing me that she believed, in her opinion that myself and Mom's doctor were not adequate. "She has pneumonia, NOT a mild chest infection", she repeatedly ranted on about. I had to explain to her they're essentially one in the same whatever term you want to use. Well, she didn't believe that and was going to google the terms. She also fully believed the doctor put her on a small dosage antibiotic. She was actually put on a z pack antibiotic along with prednisone. Doesn't get any stronger than that treatment which of course shook up her INR readings for the warfarin regimen. Her recuperation took a lot longer than necessary because she didn't eat or take her medicine when I went to work. The doctor and I discovered this on the second visit to her office. On the third visit a few days later, the doctor scolded her and flat out told her that she should be better by now and that she needed to be more responsible in eating and taking her medication, breathing exercises etc. She wasn't happy with me or the doctor and was pretty embarrassed.
Then Mom wanted me to call the siblings and tell them that their visits are just too much for her and she can't entertain them as much as she has to when they come out. I told her NO on that one, I'm not going to hurt their feelings like that.
My mother's dog, a cute little beagle had been diagnosed with cancer a number of months back. During my mother's illness we had to make the decision to put him down. DH was out of town on business and my mother was too ill to come with me. I didn't mind but wished for the dog's sake that all three of us could have been there for him. Poor little guy, we miss him but he started to fade suddenly and was going straight down hill. I'm not adopting another dog. Too sad when you loose them and very expensive in their daily care even when they're well and young.
Anyone else having as much fun? Just wondering...
-
check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
-
Hope the dog days of summer aren't getting you down!


But back to the subject at hand. Good for you for not letting your Mom make you do her dirty work! My Mom was so much the same in so many ways. Not wanting to believe anything anybody told her,especially if it came from ME!
She has been gone since JULY of 2015. Dad since Thanksgiving 2014.
They were both ready to go so it's ok.
The last few years were very tough on all of us as a family, and I am very glad they are behind us.
I do miss them as the holidays approach but I will never miss the fighting and arguments.
So sorry about the little doggie! But don't rule out more dog love just yet. So many homeless animals.
Good luck with your sibs. Just do what you think is right because they will never agree with you anyway!!!
I miss the old days out here when we were all on here every day talking.
Maybe I'm just a bit worn out, it's been hectic, Mother sick, DH sick.. Geez, I've had nothing but sickness in the house for the last 5 weeks. As for the dog, NO, I don't want another one. I've recently started working with the animal control folks in our town. I'm going to continue with that but the daily expenses of owning a pet, nope, not for me anymore.
Yes, the blame game can be very hard on everybody. If our parents or siblings don't blame us we blame ourselves.
I agree, if there is already tension between you and your siblings you don't need to be the one to tell them what your mom does not want from them.
We spend a lot of time here discussing limits for our parents, it sounds like you need to set some limits with your siblings! I can understand them being upset when your mom gets sick, or if they think that the doctor is not doing the right things. But if that is the case, then they need to go with you to the doctor's office. they need to be the one to research things. They need to be the one to deal with their mom when she is non-compliant with doctors orders.
sigh, easier said than done.
Gentle hugs
DH does not agree! He does not miss them at all! LOL!