Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
Happy New Year!
Hope everyone is well. Back after taking care of myself.
My mom is gradually deteriorating mentally and physically over the course of last year. I got her meals on wheels since she wasn't really shopping or cooking for herself consistently. but her one bedroom apartment seems to be clean and she is still able to wash herself and do her own laundry, pay her own bills, etc. Only thing is her rational? is going. She is not able to distinguish what is a scam or not.
My siblings are flaky and their help is not consistent (better than nothing.) I have accepted this but I am emotionally heart broken and angry. But I remember what pepperman once wrote here about having peace within myself with no regrets once my mom passes. So i have decided to help and make plans by myself and do what I can without getting sick myself again. I set boundaries for myself. I won't be superwoman and overdo. Hard to do. LOL
The geriatric doctor my mom see, said to just be there and observe
"like a toddler learning to walk" help when she really needs it. She is still very independent, but sometimes needs assistance.
I know she doesn't want to live with me, my home is small with all the bedrooms upstairs. Wish I had a ranch style. But I never know if circumstances will change, maybe she will.
The social worker here always want to stick a home health aide in her apartment. (To me, the way they talk sounds like they are affliated with a homehealth aide company and get $$ for a referral. They don't really ask me questions that indicate they are really concerned with my mother's best interest and health) I am suspicious, so I am asking here:
What I am wondering is what is next? Does anyone have experience with their parents living on their own? When and what do I need to prepare for?
Thank you for all your suggestions and support. :)
Hope everyone is well. Back after taking care of myself.
My mom is gradually deteriorating mentally and physically over the course of last year. I got her meals on wheels since she wasn't really shopping or cooking for herself consistently. but her one bedroom apartment seems to be clean and she is still able to wash herself and do her own laundry, pay her own bills, etc. Only thing is her rational? is going. She is not able to distinguish what is a scam or not.
My siblings are flaky and their help is not consistent (better than nothing.) I have accepted this but I am emotionally heart broken and angry. But I remember what pepperman once wrote here about having peace within myself with no regrets once my mom passes. So i have decided to help and make plans by myself and do what I can without getting sick myself again. I set boundaries for myself. I won't be superwoman and overdo. Hard to do. LOL
The geriatric doctor my mom see, said to just be there and observe
"like a toddler learning to walk" help when she really needs it. She is still very independent, but sometimes needs assistance.
I know she doesn't want to live with me, my home is small with all the bedrooms upstairs. Wish I had a ranch style. But I never know if circumstances will change, maybe she will.
The social worker here always want to stick a home health aide in her apartment. (To me, the way they talk sounds like they are affliated with a homehealth aide company and get $$ for a referral. They don't really ask me questions that indicate they are really concerned with my mother's best interest and health) I am suspicious, so I am asking here:
What I am wondering is what is next? Does anyone have experience with their parents living on their own? When and what do I need to prepare for?
Thank you for all your suggestions and support. :)
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
Some parents may want to move in with a grown child quickly, perhaps to have more social contact with family. Others may resent it and never want to do it.
My mom was taken care of by dad, so her needs were mostly met and she was mostly safe. They lived close to me, so I was able to keep an eye on dad after mom died and he became less able to do things. And he did not really hesitate to call me to have me do stuff for him.
My MIL really did not want to move in with us, but her children felt that she was not safe alone even though she was mostly self sufficient. She still is mostly self sufficient; but she does not drive, so getting to the store and doctors appts requires our help. She has fallen 4 times (I think) in the almost 4 years she has been with us. 1 or 2 of them could have been fatal if she lived alone. Luckily we were there and she did not even need to go to the doctor let alone the hospital.
I forget, how far away from you does your mother live? That is a big part of it.
If she is going to stay on her own, then she really should have one of those panic button things that is always around her neck. A cell phone, if she knows how to use one, would be great too.
Do you know any of the neighbors who are friends with your mom? It is a good idea to be friends with them too!
I would insist on some form of weekly visits, perhaps from cleaning people or family. Just something to make sure that you keep up on what is going on.
My friend had a home security system installed with a few inside cameras. His mom knew where they all were, so she was not in danger of being filmed without her knowledge. The cameras were hooked up to the internet so he could see what was goingon. They had a code, she would put her purse in a very specific place to indicate that all was well.
Sorry to go on and on, just trying to remember all the things people have said on here!
Gentle hugs