Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I recently (this week lost a ex husband to suicide,
It upset me terribly, He was bi polar and dealing with to much. I have changed a lot due to working on co dependency issues and alcoholism ,I watch as his family covers the death wanting to have a good appearance,
My mother and brother have always been super super close, I think there's some transference with him from my step dad. Anyway, I got a package deal of taking care of my brother when I took on caring for my mom..
I prayed for my brother to get clean and sober and god answered my prayers he now has about 6 months clean and sober. My mothers world revolves on him, she has a little regard for me, but being the stronger person I have always been able to take care of myself .Hes in a rehab right now. She has asked me to let him move in with us when he gets out ,which I explained to her Iam not interested in him living with me,hes my age and I feel its time she cut the apron strings .and lets him stand on his own to feet.
She complains of her stomach hurting a lot ,altho I give her to medications that are prescribed each day,Its so funny to see her coming at me with her pill bottle wanting her pills. She doesn't forget about that or Him
.
I'm going in for some surgery in oct and have been preparing for that ,I will be down for a few weeks recovering.,I've made preparations for her to stay with her sister the night before and will see if I can extend it for a day or so ,so that I can have a little time to recover.
Sometimes, its like I only live to serve her ,she's really lazy and wont do simple things for herself ,im not supposed to have any enjoyment in life ,but I know how important it is for me to take care of myself, mentally emotionally and spiritually. She wants some money to go shopping to buy stuff she will never use, Its a small thing, she's a hoarder and gets mad when I try to clean thigs up. Its a crazy crazy life I live sometimes. Thanks for letting g me vent. OH and yes I've suggested many things but to no avail
It upset me terribly, He was bi polar and dealing with to much. I have changed a lot due to working on co dependency issues and alcoholism ,I watch as his family covers the death wanting to have a good appearance,
My mother and brother have always been super super close, I think there's some transference with him from my step dad. Anyway, I got a package deal of taking care of my brother when I took on caring for my mom..
I prayed for my brother to get clean and sober and god answered my prayers he now has about 6 months clean and sober. My mothers world revolves on him, she has a little regard for me, but being the stronger person I have always been able to take care of myself .Hes in a rehab right now. She has asked me to let him move in with us when he gets out ,which I explained to her Iam not interested in him living with me,hes my age and I feel its time she cut the apron strings .and lets him stand on his own to feet.
She complains of her stomach hurting a lot ,altho I give her to medications that are prescribed each day,Its so funny to see her coming at me with her pill bottle wanting her pills. She doesn't forget about that or Him
.
I'm going in for some surgery in oct and have been preparing for that ,I will be down for a few weeks recovering.,I've made preparations for her to stay with her sister the night before and will see if I can extend it for a day or so ,so that I can have a little time to recover.
Sometimes, its like I only live to serve her ,she's really lazy and wont do simple things for herself ,im not supposed to have any enjoyment in life ,but I know how important it is for me to take care of myself, mentally emotionally and spiritually. She wants some money to go shopping to buy stuff she will never use, Its a small thing, she's a hoarder and gets mad when I try to clean thigs up. Its a crazy crazy life I live sometimes. Thanks for letting g me vent. OH and yes I've suggested many things but to no avail
I am betting that part of his counseling has been the codependency with mom.
And my daughter felt resentment for quite a while, while we celebrated not getting arrested or being in jail on christmas with her brother...but farther down the road, she sees 1. we were relieved beyond belief and 2. it was positive reenforcement with the weakest link. It took a quite a while to get our family back in balance...and some never do.
as for mom and her issues, whole 'nother kettle of fish. Just wanted to share some insights on the rehab stuff. My son is sober over 6 years now. I would say it took over 2 before I could even believe it. They had a family counseling at his rehab that we went to...and it was beneficial...if that is offered and you could go (mom may not be well enough)...those few hours on that sunday afternoon really prepared us for re-entry.
Vent or explode, I say. VENT. You can only take care of yourself.
I read too many stories on this board where people don't have a life because they give way too much power to a parent. There comes a time when we need help and we need to care about our own health and sanity. What about our retirements? Where we will be if we give all of our life over to our parents/siblings problems. I'm not saying to throw them out of our lives altogether, but to rearrange where they are in our lives.
Hope you can work things out.
And get that break for yourself, okay:-)