So much has happened to you recently, it is hard to know where to begin.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. I lost my father about 2 years ago, and I know how much it can hurt. There are so many things that we need to deal with as we resolve a passing like that. There is a bereavement group here, you can check us out and join if you wish.

As for caring for your mother, that is a very huge undertaking. Having daily care is important if she is not able to care for herself alone. If you believe that to be the case, then by all means get help in to be there with her when you are gone. It can be expensive, but it may be less expensive than a nursing home.

This is a good group for help with dealing with your mother. There are several things that we talk a lot about here, getting power of attorney for health and financial matters is very important, knowing all her meds is critical, and keeping open and honest lines of communication with other family members is also very important.

gentle hugs

Hi Sewreal. Sorry about your father. It's been almost 19 years for my dads passing. It's still hard sometimes, but it does get better. Your a great person to take your mom in with you. I know family members would like for you to do it differently, but since you are doing it, then it's your way. Try it how you want to, and at some point you might have to change and do it differently. Get power of attorney. You really need that asap. If you like a nursing home for your mom, and it's a year wait, then put her name in now. You might not need it when her turn comes up, but aleast she can be in line in case you do want it, when the time comes. The peppermans last paragraph is very vital. Read that over and over. All those points are very important.

Gentle hug Sewreal ..... I am so very sorry for your loss and all that you're going through .... I went through this as well and know how very hard it all is..... Another hug and a blessing.......xo

Thank you all for such kindness

so sad to hear this news.....hugs and hope the grieving is gentle remembering his good things in life...

thing are real hard right now, thank you for your kind words

I'm so sorry to hear about your father. I can't speak to the pain you and your mother are going through. I also am sorry to hear about the decisions you are faced with. This is not an easy thing for anyone to go through.

Though you haven't diverged into details, your consideration of moving her to a nursing home makes me think that she might be suffering from some kind of health issue or illness. If not I would suggest considering an at home care service provider or moving her to an assisted living facility near your location. With home care, you would be able to give her personal attention and keep her near. Whereas in an assisted living, she would meet new people of similar age and get more social interaction, which I feel would be ideal for her considering her current situation and yours too. There are additional benefits as well, such as regular activities and personal care. Staying busy and social could be very beneficial to her healing process and your life as well.

It's best to try not to force any decision on her. First, try to tell her about the difference between living at home and away from home (either assisted living home or nursing home) and ask her to share her thoughts. Consider taking her to tour some local facilities. If you both are not comfortable in talking about all of this then you may want to consider getting the help of another person who is close to both of you and understands you and your mother very well.

I hope this helps. I wish all the best to you and your family.

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