It is hard when you do all (or most) of the work and siblings who have money don't do anything.

It is kind of like that in my wife's family, but so far the care is not excessive. But like having kids, we really can't just get up and go someplace for the weekend.

Does your brother do anything to help? Does he come visit? Can you get him to take on anything?

Gentle hugs

My mother also has dementia now and lives home with my father.

We have someone come daily for several hours. Couldn't your brother pay for help or a care facility?

I know that I feel much relief knowing someone is there with her.

Hugs and Smiles

Of COURSE you are resentful at your loss of freedom.

Is she ready to go to a facility?

Are there funds available for some home care?

Can you granny dump her on Brother's doorstep and run away.

Do you have POA's in place?

I feel your pain and resentment. My 85 year old Mom lives with my hubby and me. She is in good health, just has type 2 diabetes but it is in control. She has lived with us for almost 9 years and I have had no help. One of my sisters had both her legs amputated and lives in Las Vegas and I am helping her from where I live in the Chicago area, my brother lives in Las Vegas and thinks he is a big hero because he sends my Mom a check for 50 or 100 once in a while. And my other sister is somewhere in Nevada with her husband who is on parole for murder. To top that off, they gave my nephew (her son) methadone for pain he was having and he died.

I know, I know, my family put the dys in dysfunction. I am lucky I have a wonderful hubby who stands by me and helps me at every turn. My Mom helps around the house and takes care of her bathing and personal needs, but only has 1200.00 a month of social security. I have some resentment that my dad was not financially responsible and died, leaving her a mere 50,000.00 in insurance that is now gone, since he has been dead for 16 years.

My Mom pays her own health insurance and some life insurance to bury her when she dies, but that is it.

I am lucky I have three children and 4 grandchildren to love and be near, but my Mom, living with us, still takes away a lot of our personal lives. I have guilt a lot if hubby and I go out without her too often.

I am sorry if I hijacked this post. Just venting.

I cannot go see that movie...tho mom and her 89 year old cousin did go together to see it.
"it starred that woman, you know, with the red hair...she was very good"
My journey is just a bit behind yours. I will learn from all of you with more experience.

I wont go see it either. I have enough of that depressing shit in my own life. Don't need to pay to see more of it on the silver screen.

I saw it, wanted to cry out loud, but of course I didn't and kept the tears to a minimun, it is sad but true. I'm so sorry we all have to go through this.

I won't see it either. Living it is enough.

Take heart that you are not alone. My mother has dementia and lives with my sister, my husband and myself. She is taking our lives from us, as we care for her 24/7, and we do get resentful. Normal I think.

I don't think I'll watch this movie either, it's enough living through the daily care. I don't want to face what's coming next. I dread it.

I took my mother to the nursery on Saturday afternoon to pick up the vegetable plants and we bought 5 tomato plants, she helped me pick them out. Sunday afternoon she told me that we had forgotten to buy the tomato plants. Yeah,,,, that's nothing to worry about says my brother and sister. aaaggghhhhhh!

I am not going to see that movie, either. There is enough sadness and stress in real life without seeing it on the big screen. What is really scary to me is what are we all going to be like later in life? Do we have people who are going to take care of us?

I think it's a really good movie. It's interesting how people shake out. Also, it makes an excellent point against assisted suicide. Now, I didn't show the movie to my mom, the parent with mild dementia. But, I know she's suffering as she fails many times a day. Still, it's not quite right for her. I get your feelings of resentment.