Before my mother died of cancer, my two brothers came to see her. They also made a point of going to where she'd been living and took what they could get.
I hated watching them grab up her things.
After she'd passed away one of my brothers died of cancer himself. His wife called me on the phone and began screaming at me, "I AM KEEPING YOUR MOTHER'S TABLE! I AM KEEPING YOUR MOTHER'S CHAIRS ... etc.". You get my drift.
What she did not discuss was the status of my late father's war medals (my late brother had taken them before Dad had even passed away). Dad died in 1997 and was a hero in the Marine Corps. during WWII. I never found out what happened to his war medals -- no one seemed to care! :(
After this, I never spoke to my sister-in-law again. I'll never get over it, never. It is best to remove these people from your life as they are greedy SOBs and offer nothing but take all they can get.
I am sorry your are going through this. It truly sucks and you have my condolences.
Don't forget to take care of yourself in the meantime as you are likely the only person that truly cares for your mother. :(

FOr everyones sake I hope you are their executor or that they have named someone not related to anyone. In either case you need to take some steps to protect your dad and yourself.

First thing I would do is make a list of every asset your father has. I'm assuming that he inherited everything from your mother as a spouse. List objects in the house and take pictures. Get a list of bank and other accounts. Check on any insurance policies or retirement funds. Once you have a complete list I would give a copy to your father's lawyer and to each of your siblings. Explain that you want it to be clear what is there at this point in time. And also make it clear that nothing will be distributed until your father is gone. Among other things if you need Medicare they will expect gifts to be paid back which could leave you with a huge mess.

I would also speak to your father's lawyer about what has been going on. If your dad is competent have him make a statement to the lawyer about what has happened and about his wishes going forward. You should also make sure you have the proper legal papers to give you medical POA and any DNR orders if desired. Again having the lawyer do these documents will give you backing if anyone tries to challenge you. A lawyer is an officer of the court.

If anyone tried to give you a hard time call a meeting with everyone and the lawyer to make things clear. And you can make it clear that if anything goes missing from the house you will prosecute for theft.

Unfortunately children often have financial problems and can't understand why mom and dad can't just give them their inheritance right now. First there is a big problem with Medicare if it becomes necesssary. Usually these informal distributions are not fair. And the IRS has regulations about what you can gift each year without taxes.

Don't let your siblings do this to you or to your dad. His money should be used to take care of him first. If there is anything left over then and only then will they get their share.

Tiggs2 and Hope4acure thanks so much. I really appreciate your support. It is so hurtful to me and to my dad to be treated this way - as if we don't matter and all that matters are materials things that they want to get their greedy hands on. Its so sad. We can't even mourn the loss of my mother. We are seeking legal counsel and good ideas Tiggs2. Hope4acure so sorry for your loss too and that you had to go through this pain. Getting toxic people out of our lives is probably best, especially when they aren't willing to change. Hugs.

It seems both hope4acure and tiggs2 addressed the issues very well. I also am the lone caregiver with my Dad passing almost 2 years ago and my mother beginning more dementia.
My parents choose me (youngest of 5) because they had saved, made a trust so I could care for them in their home. Period. They had also included one of my brothers to oversee the trust with me. But decided to remove him (since he had not visited in 10 years).
I am in the process of video taping Mom with the belongings speaking of how she would like them placed AFTER she is gone.
In writing, Mom and Dad left the house, cars, contents to me (yikes!!) . And debt. So, I want some back up (video) in case we go into probate over this.
I think it is horrible to read and hear about the cries and complaints of people whom accommodate no one but themselves when someone else is frail. My heart is saddened for what all of you endure in your lives, and the loss of your parents, family, and friends. May you find a space from your worries here today.
P

Peaceful the videotaping is a wonderful idea. I would make a copy and give it to your mom's lawyer to keep. I strongly recommend to everyone to use their lawyer in situations like this. It's important to make sure all the paperwork is correct and in place early. But more importantly the lawyer is an officer of the courts and can be called on to testify about the mental ability of the person making the will.

They also can make notes about what the client tells them. In my case my parents had a long discussion with their lawyer in which they detailed the behavior of their children and their spouses. This will be evidence if one in particular tries to steal from them again.

Of course all of the property has value and should be distributed per your parent's wishes. But some property may be more valuable to you than to your siblings such as a family photo album, marriage certificate and other such sentimental items. That's what I call "the good stuff." It's nice to have money and other valuable property to pay bills, etc. However, long after the money's gone you will still have "the good stuff" if you get it. Keep your eye on the good stuff in addition to all the other property.

Hello Maria,Good evening. I can understand how difficult it must be for you on one hand u had to care for ur parent and on the other hand..worry about these siblings too. I hope God gives you strength and energy that you will be fine emotioanlly and fill ur heart with peace and stregnth to care ur parent in the midst of all these. I hope God gives wisdom to ur siblings too to understand that you are walking on a very very tough road of caring. I hope they understand and that will fill ur heart also with emotional support too. please leave everything God and do whatever u can. My prayers again. take care.
Regards.