Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
Hi, I use to write here many years. For reasons, life changed and making time for myself has slipped.
Trying to get into the habit of caring for me again.
I take care of my 90 year old mom at home. We are lucky with mobility and most cognitive function. Enought of both to make my life stressful emotionally more than physically. My Mom is a nag by nature so kind of demanding in a similar way years later.
Hoping to see folks I knew a few years ago and make new ones going forward.
Cheers!
Peaceful
My MIL lives with us, she turned 95 this year. She, like your mom, has good mobility for her age (she uses her walker about 95% of the time) and is pretty with it. She does not hear very well, and is slowing down mentally, but still can carry on good conversations (loudly helps!) and remembers the past quite well. Short term memory is pretty good too!
My MIL can be passive aggressive. It can be quite trying, but for the most part I'm able to ignore it. I do not seek my validation as a person from her. I am proud that we have welcomed her into our house, and that I am a good son in law to her and do many things for her. (She and I both have some very definite boundaries, so that helps a lot!) I have posted often about how she has put down my cooking, just writing about it helps a lot. The feed back I get from friends here also helps.
My wife is on family leave to take care of her mom, and we hope she will retire soon. This has disrupted the ebb and flow of our daily routine. Mostly it is my wife and her mom re-establishing their routine. My MIL ADORES her daughter, and wants to be with her.
All the time.
Really, all the time.
Oh yea, all the time!
Mrs. Pepper is learning how to deal with that as time passes.
Sorry to wander off topic here. Once again, welcome to the group!
And the MIL too.
Still the cooking LOL...
Isn't it nice to have one thing to count on though. ..even if negative about your meals. I'm sure they are fine.
My Mom has food issues. She calls left oversion
"Used Food"...
Years ago someone one this site said her mom called leftover food "swill"
Oh, still laugh at that because my Mom is from the East and it is definitely a word from that region and generation.
I have been watching
Teepa Snow advice on tips to care for dementia /ALZ.
You probably know of her, an occupational therapist renowned in positive application to such care.
I'm not very good at some of this yet. But I need to get there. I see this coming I'm sorry to say. It doesn't need a fancy name or label . Not yet. We just live our days as they pass.
Good to hear from you. Hopefully Mrs. Pepper will find some breathing room soon.
Cheers
Trying to reorient our parents to reality can work, but it can backfire. My MIL can be reoriented, mostly by asking her to rethink what she said. It used to work for my mom, but as she got deeper into dementia she had joined several different memories into a single memory. We finally stopped trying to correct her when I saw how much it pained her to be asked to rethink something. It was kind of like making a 5 year old learn brain surgery. There is just not the mental power there for the task. But a 5 year old may grow into being a brain surgeon, where as my mom could not pull things together to remember what grand child had what pet when they were young.
Sigh it is hard.
BTW, I ended up going with her stitched together memories. They did not hurt anybody, and it made her feel more connected to people when she could talk and express her thoughts, and get positive feed back. (Yes mom, your grand daughter really loved that kitty! Even if it was a puppy that was loved by that particular granddaughter.)
I still have my mother living with us, she just turned 89 but is still very mobile and independent; well as long as I'm not home she is. If I'm home she suddenly becomes frail and unable to do anything.
Ahhhh, this is a good day; it's just nice to see some of the old posters back on here...
Mrs. Pepper made dinner (chicken pot pies at home, we all get to choose our own stuff!) and chose things for her mom.
Oops, tasted bad, she does not like it, she told us that she wanted X and Y not Z and W last time, and it was way too much.
So my wife is now getting the complaining end of things. But in defense of my MIL, yesterday was the anniversary of her husband's death. (About 30 years ago.)
Ah, swill. Really, all it takes is garlic and onion to turn something into swill????? Man, I LOVE garlic and onions!