Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
My brother and i talked to Mom a while ago about financial power of attorney and she agreed. Last night the lawyer joined us at the facility to complete the paperwork. Mom told him she was not being treated well there and they do not care that her ankle is swollen. The lawyer then created a major mess by informing her that 15 years ago another resident had a complaint and called him to investigate. She asked for his card and said she will call him if she needs to. I have this really scary feeling in my gut that mom is going to create a problem where there really isn't any.
Once the lawyer left, mom said that what she meant by not being treated well is that they don't have enough help. What I see is a woman that wants everything done for her, and she wants it done immediately This is a pattern of hers. If she asks my brother or i to do something..no matter how small.....she does not let it go until it is done. When living at home...she needed a battery changed in something that she could reach.....but took it upon herself to call us 3 times a day until we got there. She recently raked us over the coals for taking a few days to find the photo albums she was asking for and get them to her.. She told her friends and the staff that we were horrible for not bringing them to her sooner.
As far as the ankle, I sought out the nurse in charge and she brought up the ankle before I did. They are aware of it. Mom is retaining water and they put a pillow at the foot of the bed and asked her to please keep it elevated . But whenever they walk into the room , it is NOT elevated and Mom says to them "I know I know! I am supposed to have it elevated!" I did not get to talk to Mom about this yet as she was at the dinner table at that point. I am going back tonight.
I just spoke to my brother. He too is fearful that she is going to try to sue them for something imaginary ..because she is THAT angry and unhappy...and we think that SHE thinks if she is asked to leave ...she can go back home.
So I have to ask? Do I win?! Is there a prize for most difficult parent?? Gah......I am trying so hard today to retain my sense of humor :P
Once the lawyer left, mom said that what she meant by not being treated well is that they don't have enough help. What I see is a woman that wants everything done for her, and she wants it done immediately This is a pattern of hers. If she asks my brother or i to do something..no matter how small.....she does not let it go until it is done. When living at home...she needed a battery changed in something that she could reach.....but took it upon herself to call us 3 times a day until we got there. She recently raked us over the coals for taking a few days to find the photo albums she was asking for and get them to her.. She told her friends and the staff that we were horrible for not bringing them to her sooner.
As far as the ankle, I sought out the nurse in charge and she brought up the ankle before I did. They are aware of it. Mom is retaining water and they put a pillow at the foot of the bed and asked her to please keep it elevated . But whenever they walk into the room , it is NOT elevated and Mom says to them "I know I know! I am supposed to have it elevated!" I did not get to talk to Mom about this yet as she was at the dinner table at that point. I am going back tonight.
I just spoke to my brother. He too is fearful that she is going to try to sue them for something imaginary ..because she is THAT angry and unhappy...and we think that SHE thinks if she is asked to leave ...she can go back home.
So I have to ask? Do I win?! Is there a prize for most difficult parent?? Gah......I am trying so hard today to retain my sense of humor :P
As for future problems you mother may cause, stay on good speaking terms with the staff and have them contact you if things start to get out of hand.
Continuing hugs.
You have really taken control of things here lately. You are figuring out how to rock the situation!!!!!!!
. Great idea! A contest and prize for the most cantankerous parent!
From what I am observing at the moment you are winning the prize Lady Di!
Maybe pepper will write you a country song!
He wrote me one once when I was having a time with my parents. I wonder if I could dig it up again. It was hilarious!