Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
Mom says its not in house. Its too far for me to just pop over She went to the doctor office yesterday. I called office. Was told technician had trouble with mom hearing her. Asked mom where hearing aids were.
M om said she left them home. Dont know is she heard techs question correctlty. She says she is going to see if she can manage with just one hearing aid. It is too expencive to buy another one. Five or more years ago cost $1000 for each one. I said I would pay for a new hearing aid. Just to get her to get one. She is profoundly hard of hearing. She could pay for the aid. She has $250,000- 300,000. The problem is her income is $1350 a month social security. And lots of bills. She lives in her own home. And brother lives with her. He gets SSI. No foodstamps since he lives at home. He has personality disorder. So he couldn't keep a job. She is very fearful of him being homeless when she dies. So she is giving home to him when she dies. He is middle age. Mom says he is young and has many years to live. She is afraid he won't have enough money to last his lifetime. So she spends as little money as possible. Trying to keep most of her money for brother. I told mom I would help brother financially. But mom says it wont be enough that it takes a lot of money to live. I don't want to pay for hearing aid when she can. But I really think she needs two. She is rigid and will go without rather than get what she needs. I have paid for things before just so she would get what she needed. But no more than $100.
Barbara
M om said she left them home. Dont know is she heard techs question correctlty. She says she is going to see if she can manage with just one hearing aid. It is too expencive to buy another one. Five or more years ago cost $1000 for each one. I said I would pay for a new hearing aid. Just to get her to get one. She is profoundly hard of hearing. She could pay for the aid. She has $250,000- 300,000. The problem is her income is $1350 a month social security. And lots of bills. She lives in her own home. And brother lives with her. He gets SSI. No foodstamps since he lives at home. He has personality disorder. So he couldn't keep a job. She is very fearful of him being homeless when she dies. So she is giving home to him when she dies. He is middle age. Mom says he is young and has many years to live. She is afraid he won't have enough money to last his lifetime. So she spends as little money as possible. Trying to keep most of her money for brother. I told mom I would help brother financially. But mom says it wont be enough that it takes a lot of money to live. I don't want to pay for hearing aid when she can. But I really think she needs two. She is rigid and will go without rather than get what she needs. I have paid for things before just so she would get what she needed. But no more than $100.
Barbara
I know that sounds harsh, but she needs to either take better care of her things, or pay for their replacements.
And don't promise your mom you will totally pay for your brother after he passes!
Barbara
When my dad was in hospital, he made fun of me when I cared for his dentures before his surgery. The next hospital stay, I could not be there as often. He put them on the table and they were knocked off and lost. I let him deal with it. he went a couple weeks without teeth. He paid for the news ones. And when he ended up in hospital again, he actually took care of them properly!
When my child was a baby, I caught him when he fell. A good friend pointed out that he did not bother to be careful. And he was a climber. She made me realize that he had no idea how painful it was to fall. I had to stop catching him or he would have climbed really high and possible been seriously injured.
Natural consequences continue for life!
To a certain extent, preventing those consequences borders on kinda abusive cause we keep the other from learning and growing and being independent of us.
Let her pay for them. They are for her benefit. She needs to care for them. She is capable of ensuring that she can hear.