Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I am nervice and have a hard coping with having an anxiety disorder. I'm
so tired of dealing with mom. She has been in the hospital maybe four times in the lst few years. I live an hour and a half away in another county.
I have wished i would get sick and die to get away from her. She has no one else but my brother who has personality disorder and causes more problems. Mom is stubbern, ridgid, codependent with brother. Just having hard time needed to talk to someone.
Barbara
so tired of dealing with mom. She has been in the hospital maybe four times in the lst few years. I live an hour and a half away in another county.
I have wished i would get sick and die to get away from her. She has no one else but my brother who has personality disorder and causes more problems. Mom is stubbern, ridgid, codependent with brother. Just having hard time needed to talk to someone.
Barbara
does she have any help when she is at home?
I have had a flair up of my anxiety lately...so I get how hard it is. I have workmen in the house today...even with hubby at home, I am barely keeping it together.
what do you need to do? can you just "phone it in" to the doctors and nurses and call her while she is in hospital?
My mom is stubborn too...but for me it has been a kind of good thing...although she is on a volunteer committee to serve food to the choir in between services at church tomorrow and I worry she will fall (she has) carrying too much stuff in at once. Ugh.
Please take care of you. you sound too stressed out. Sometimes, with my son (who is a recovered alcoholic) when bad things happened, I had to remind myself over and over "It isn't happening to me".
Sometimes it is helpful to go to some advice from something popularly known as the Serenity Prayer. If you are not spiritual please omit the reference to 'God'. It is good advice no matter whom it is directed to:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
It can be very hard to take this advice, but peace can be found through this. I know it is your mother we are talking about, and that makes it hard. She is making decisions about her life that you disagree with. From what you have written in the past, I believe that you are justified in disagreeing with her choices. But unless she is deemed legally incapable of making her decisions, she has the right to make them as she sees fit.
Please consider stepping way back. Let your mother make those decisions. It does not mean that you support those decisions, it does not mean that you think there won't be bad consequences to her decisions.
I see two people; one making good life decisions, one making bad life decisions. I see one who is happy in her decisions, the other living a frustrated life and wishes to get sick and die. Put emotional distance between you and your mother. Live your life for you.
Gentle hugs
Life is so stressful sometimes, I know. I am finished with my anxiety disorder. I had to remove myself from being in touch with my sister, but I did it and do not look back. She was causing me so much distress. I am my normal self without her in my life. Sometimes we all need to get someone toxic out of our life physically, or mentally, depending on the situation. Sometimes we need a good break from the situation, and we need help from another person.
I hope you can work through this, but please don't wish yourself dead. You can have a beautiful, fun life if you can get your Mom's situation in control.
very happy when this latest bit of stress is over.