Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
She called Sunday to tell me she had a doctor appointment on Wednesday. She has a lump on her arm. She said she might have to go to hospital to have it drained. Like her leg was. She asked me what I was going this week. After I told her she asked if i could come to hospital. She is an hour and a half away. I said i dont know. And sounded reluctant. Monday she calls about same subject. Asks me to go to hospital again. I said you can manage without me. And mentioned she had my brother. He is barely any help. But does live with her. And has been in hospital with her for emergencies before. I just got another call from her today. She wanted to know if J got everything done I was doing this week. Did I still have any more to do. I repeated that I didnt want to come to hospital unless it was emergency. She said it might be, she might be admited. Thats not an emergency to me. She said brother is not good at admiting process. He has done it many times with her. Me only once. I dont want to do it. I feel a little guilty but I dont want to do it. I'm just now learning to set limits with her. I want to let my brother admit her. Its not essential that I do it. But this is hard. Refusing some of moms requests.
Barbara
Barbara
I would call your brother and tell him to take her to her doctor's office. There's absolutely no reason for you to drive 3-4 hours out and back for these types of things.
Don't let her keep stressing you out, just keep saying NO. This is the hard part, where you have to stick to your guns and keep saying no... I'm telling you, if we don't say no, they'll suck the life force right out of us.
And don't feel guilty. Easier said than done but if you let guilt take over, then she'll have you right where she wants you. It's not easy, I know, trust me.... you're not alone.
It's if the doctor has her admitted into the hospital that she wants me there for. But I don't want to go. Brother can go with her to be admieed to hospital. If it becomes nessesary.
Barbara