Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
Help!
How do I stay emotionally distant? How do I even get ther?
I may have made a second mistake. And she wont get her physical therapist for even more days. The person is supposed to come to her home. I forgot I had to go out this morning. And that messed up me getting a thrrapist out to mom today. Actually if she was willing to answer the phone she woukd have had her apointment. I scheduled a apointment for tomorrow. But since she wont answer the phone I cant tell her. She thinks a therapist will come out on Thursday. And she probably wont call me till after the therapist is supposed to show up tomorrow. And she is real hard of hearing. She wont sit in livingroom waiting. So she can hear door. So she might miss the second visit that was supposed to take place. The first messed up cause I forgot I couldnt stay home this morning. So when I called the company from wher I was mom couldnt call me. When I got home she was angry cause she called all morning and early afternoon and I didnt answer. She is in a lot of pain. Then the therapist called me after I got home and wanted to come Wednesday. Mom thinks the person is comming Thursday. And since I cant call mom. I cant tell her. She might not hear doorbell. If she doest stay in livingroom. Which she wont if she diest expect anyone. Is any of this crazy or am I.
Barbara
How do I stay emotionally distant? How do I even get ther?
I may have made a second mistake. And she wont get her physical therapist for even more days. The person is supposed to come to her home. I forgot I had to go out this morning. And that messed up me getting a thrrapist out to mom today. Actually if she was willing to answer the phone she woukd have had her apointment. I scheduled a apointment for tomorrow. But since she wont answer the phone I cant tell her. She thinks a therapist will come out on Thursday. And she probably wont call me till after the therapist is supposed to show up tomorrow. And she is real hard of hearing. She wont sit in livingroom waiting. So she can hear door. So she might miss the second visit that was supposed to take place. The first messed up cause I forgot I couldnt stay home this morning. So when I called the company from wher I was mom couldnt call me. When I got home she was angry cause she called all morning and early afternoon and I didnt answer. She is in a lot of pain. Then the therapist called me after I got home and wanted to come Wednesday. Mom thinks the person is comming Thursday. And since I cant call mom. I cant tell her. She might not hear doorbell. If she doest stay in livingroom. Which she wont if she diest expect anyone. Is any of this crazy or am I.
Barbara
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If she will not answer the phone, then she is part of the problem, a HUGE part of the problem.
If she can not hear the phone, then she either needs to get a volume booster for the phone, or she needs to learn how to email and/or text. If she does not do either of those then she is, once again, a HUGE part of the problem.
Doesn't your brother live with her? If so, then he needs to man up and at least answer the phone.
Sorry to go like this on the situation. But that is why I say the craziness of this situation is on your mother or your brother. You have gone above and beyond the call of duty on this.
Gentle hugs
I may never heal from the hurts she caused me by verbal abuse, and my finances are trashed, but.... This is on *her*. If she will not compromise, by getting a light to blink so she can *see* the phone is ringing (my gramps had that so he iddn't always have ot keep his hearing aids cranked up).... and so on.... ? Then it's on her, just like my mom being cruel and self-destructive is on my *mom*. Not me. And I feel soooo guilty and bad for even thinking it, but.... Just because someone is old and/or ill doesn't mean they can't be destructive to others and themselves. No dementia or so on required, just plain .... Yeah, whatever it is.
You've done everything you can from what I can tell. If yuou have a sibling, then share the load. (I don't, I'm solo.)
Take some serious self-care time, okay? My mom moved out over 2 months go and I am still a wreck on a daily basis, so I know whereof I speak when I say, "Give yourself time off from your mother and being her caretaker!" I didn't try to set boundaries until it was so bad that Adult Protective Services gave *me* a caseworker to keep *me* safe. Yeah. Just call me "Crash"....
Blessings,
Leo