Caring For Aging Parents Support Group

Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.

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Lost the Plot :(

selfie
selfie

why isnt life fair? Its meant to be a two way road, give and take right? When you give so much of your time and money to take care of a parent shouldnt we expect something in return? something as simple as gratitude? love? a smile? a thank you? 


Mom has no problem telling me how great my two brothers are...the same brothers that havent called her since Christmas Day, not even a call to wish her a Happy New Year...yes the same brothers that never ask her to stay over, never take care of any of her needs, yes them...i must be one jealous little bitch right?


Mom doesnt visit the boys because she doesnt want to be a burden to them and their families...but she cant see that giving me a break now and again would be respectful to me and my family.


I feel used and disrespected and sometimes i just block out and get on with it...but occasionally i have a blow out...im only human right? 


Im pathetic, why do i do this to myself? why cant i stop this madness? why dont i speak up more often and avoid the build up? my chest felt tight and i was gasping for air, the anger was overwhelming, the words coming out of my mouth so cruel, yet it was me saying them...i couldnt stop....i have totally lost the plot



sorry needed to vent 



Debbalina
Debbalina
It really can be a thankless job. My mom recently broke her ribs in several places and I've waited on her hand and foot - and she hadn't even told my siblings at all! Can you talk to your mom at all? Maybe not in the heat of the moment but just honestly that you feel unappreciated. Couldn't hurt - seeing that your seeing red most of the time. What's to lose? Your a good daughter. Never forget that. At least you can lay your head to rest at night knowing you've given it your best shot.
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
Daughters seem to get the parental duty, from all I've seen here. Have you stood up to your mother and told her that you would appreciate some 'thank you very much' replies for all you do? That you need time for yourself just like your brothers do, and that they should be part of her care plan as well?

And call your brothers on this! Let them know that you need a break, like NEED A BREAK! If they are too busy to give you a weekend of help then give them the number of a home health care company and suggest that they spring for 48 hours of coverage so you can GET THE BREAK YOU NEED!
selfie
selfie
thank you Debbalina and Pepper, your advice and support appreciated :)

I called my brothers and told them we need to have a meeting pronto. I told them the situation and asked for an hour of their time to sit down and make some plans. Both agreed at first, then both agreed that there really isn't much they can do she sucks up too much of their time. We had a three way conference call and to hear them agree and joke and laugh about silly old mum made my blood pressure rise.


Pepper, i agree it does seem to be the trend that daughters do get parental duty...but when finances are discussed the males seem to be head of the line...even though mum has given my brothers everything financially, the little she does have is still on their radar...makes me sick...greed, ugly pure greed...who are these people, i don't feel i know them anymore