Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I was on here a little less than two years ago just as I was beginning the journey of putting my Mom in assisted living and me being DX with cancer. Her Dr. or mine said due to my long treatment plan I was not to be her care giver.
I have brothers in two different states so it is all up to me. I have adult children who help some but with the bitter feelings of grandparents who freely admitted to not liking them it is only for me they do anything.
I am fortunate she is very close. I read some but not much til lately as now the my life is as normal as it will get I was reading to help get insight on moving her in with me now.
We have always had a toxic relationship, poor thing her least like child is who she now depends on. We usually do a good job........but now I have to constantly figure out when it is the dementia talking or her.
Top it off she is deaf even with hearing aids, has serious trouble seeing and is a fall risk due to several issues one being all hips and knees have been replaced. One hip needs repairing but at 87 and all her other problems they are reluctant to do it. So she is 24 hour care, so for now I am going to do some thinking and planning before changing things. It is just hard as she is miserable and helpless and mean.
So if I ever jump in you will know who I am.
laurab
I have brothers in two different states so it is all up to me. I have adult children who help some but with the bitter feelings of grandparents who freely admitted to not liking them it is only for me they do anything.
I am fortunate she is very close. I read some but not much til lately as now the my life is as normal as it will get I was reading to help get insight on moving her in with me now.
We have always had a toxic relationship, poor thing her least like child is who she now depends on. We usually do a good job........but now I have to constantly figure out when it is the dementia talking or her.
Top it off she is deaf even with hearing aids, has serious trouble seeing and is a fall risk due to several issues one being all hips and knees have been replaced. One hip needs repairing but at 87 and all her other problems they are reluctant to do it. So she is 24 hour care, so for now I am going to do some thinking and planning before changing things. It is just hard as she is miserable and helpless and mean.
So if I ever jump in you will know who I am.
laurab
Second... I *love* my mom, we have a great relationship 80 pecent of the time (and the other 20 is getting better), and I still want to hit my head against a brick wall since moving her in 8 years ago---when she was still working, spry, etc., so we could get used to cohabitation *before* it was "necessary" to do it. (Helped, thankfully. We were used to sharing space before she got sick, retired, etc. Less transition stress.)
I can say in my case, if my mom needed that kind of intense 24-hour care? I would only keep her in our home if I could afford in-home help.
A tip for you on the hearing aids. Do you know how to clean them? That is very important. Also ear wax must be cleared out of the ears from time to time.
Generally the place where the hearing aids were bought will help you free of charge with the ear wax issues.
She has become so fragile and dependant on help these last two year's it scares me. We also need to remodel one bathroom to be wheel chair acceptable. .....we are still just discussing our options.
laurab
Mull away!
No help for AL from the state where we live.
Mom is paying for her room with her's and dad's retirement income.
It is hard but I will just have to make sure I get there once a day to bring a little cheer. Her next move will be across the street to the nursing home which scares me to death. Even today she was saying how mad she gets that she cant 'remember things.
All your comments helped
laurab
One last thing that I assumed all along was being handled, but wasn't really under control for my mom in either AL or NH was oxygen needs. Many people have increasing trouble breathing, which can cause dizziness, forgetfulness, anxiety,etc.
The charge nurses an P.A. have helped enormously I knowing when she is playing me. Charge nurse is worried about her level of pain and how it is effecting her
. Mom keeps telling me the P.A. did not come to see her like he said he would and I chose not to argue and tell her he was there three weeks ago. Curious to see what she tells him Thursday!