Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
Who would have known that moving in to help Mom would be a call to battle...with her!! Oh what a week it has been.
Mom snapped at me when the physical therapist was here. I wasnt happy it happened but SOOOO glad it was recorded. She can hide her symptoms usually. I guess she has known about it for some time but did not tell me. Thanks Mom (and Dad!!).
The social worker says Mom has an inner conflict with wanting her Independence and Alz. It is hard to tell which is pressuring her the most but no matter it comes my way as an attack.
So I have been referred to the local ALZ group. It will be a relief really.
Being isolated really has not been good for me and I see so many things with her that she can not hide anymore.
Mom isn't really far into the illness so sending her to a psych eval is way out of the question. It will compromise what little trust she has in me. She has one DR and he decided to care for all her needs, even though he is the leading cardiologist in the state! His team of NP's and such do much of the general care.
Sigh....On my way to find the group time and make some plans. Maybe I will also be able to get my YMCA routine back too. So much came crashing down on me all at once.
P
Mom snapped at me when the physical therapist was here. I wasnt happy it happened but SOOOO glad it was recorded. She can hide her symptoms usually. I guess she has known about it for some time but did not tell me. Thanks Mom (and Dad!!).
The social worker says Mom has an inner conflict with wanting her Independence and Alz. It is hard to tell which is pressuring her the most but no matter it comes my way as an attack.
So I have been referred to the local ALZ group. It will be a relief really.
Being isolated really has not been good for me and I see so many things with her that she can not hide anymore.
Mom isn't really far into the illness so sending her to a psych eval is way out of the question. It will compromise what little trust she has in me. She has one DR and he decided to care for all her needs, even though he is the leading cardiologist in the state! His team of NP's and such do much of the general care.
Sigh....On my way to find the group time and make some plans. Maybe I will also be able to get my YMCA routine back too. So much came crashing down on me all at once.
P
I was involved with those groups when i was still working and all it was just a bunch of ppl complaining and nothing getting done to help!!!!!!!!
Gentle hugs
Hope it turns out that way for you too peaceful!
I like the idea that her doctor is willing to treat all of her issues. My mothers internist is a jerk who likes to make money on office visits so he is always saying to come back and we'll see. So we've had to go the neurologist route to try to get some drugs that might help.
My mom is headed to the neuro psych eval in another week and I'm sure it will set her off. She knows she has problems but doesn't want to be classified. When they did the mini mental she told the nurse and doctor that they were idiots..lol. I guess that's normal in the higher functioning stages. Right now she is generally happy but little things to us will set her off. The other day she couldn't figure out the thermostat and was crying and screaming at the same time.
Getting some outside support is a good idea. But as Trojan warns you need to keep your eyes open. Make sure you are getting what you need from the group and if not find another group. Often the groups are filled with negative people who want pity but some are great. It's the same with all support groups.
This might be out of line but if your loved one was ever a drinker you might want to check out an al-anon meeting. Often they are well organized and while they won't have advice on dementia there are a lot of similarities in the overall behavior. What good is they tend to focus on making yourself stronger and setting boundaries which is something caregivers need help with. Just an idea.
My sister is in a non smoker alanon group trying to cope with all her troubles. I can not deal with being with her on Moms issues. In fact,
I no longer tell my siblings what is up with Mom. After the recent holidays, I am convinced they don't care about her and so forget them.
I do believe this DS group counts for support, right?? And available at all hours. That is what I appreciate the most.
Thank you again for responding.
P
That said, you will have to set limits and boundaries. There is no reason to put up with someone being rude to you. There is a big difference between her forgetting and her snapping at you. Allowing verbal abuse will only lead to more and worse until it becomes physical abuse. If you allow that slow progression, there will be no way to know when mom needs more care than you are capable of providing.
This pattern can only lead to physical abuse which will take away all the choices. Physial abuse between adults is against the laws of this land. No one wants to see that happen to anyone.
It sounds like you need to get out to the YMCA. Make sure that mom has no car keys while you are out OR find a day care place for ALZ care. Everyone needs a break from constant emotional and psychological stress or they stop being able to process information. The human brain eventually gets drained of the hormones required to actually make sense of their surroundings. So please get some time away to de-stress.