Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
And not to destroy myself for mom? Her mind is fine. She is negative, rigid, judgemental. Has anxiety disorder as do I. Pills help me alot but not with her. She is 88 on a walker and lives alone. Brother lives nearby and stays at house three days a week. He has personality disorder and mom is codependent wiht him. He won't help her except taking her to doctor. She is always worried about something or has a problem. No one else to tell or help so she tells me her problems. Sometimes asks my help with phone calls or to get something. Because of her anxiety and rigidity some problems seem hard or impossible to solve. She won't listen to anyone. I feel like I need to fix her problems and have been making my anxiety worse lately over mom. Some problems are serious, some not so much but are important. And some are her worries about my brother. Making mysef sick does't help but how to stop?
Let your mother know, via short statements, that you have given her suggestions for problem X, she rejected them, so she is on her own.
I too have a negative, anxious and judgemental mom. It used to make me sick because I couldn't "solve" her problems. Guess what, I and you, will never be able to! Without the problems and drama they don't feel alive.
Do what you can and accept what you can't. They're stronger than you think!
Good Luck! Hugs and Smiles!
But if they are too deep into dementia they may not be able to do the reasoning required to make a change.
Gentle hugs to all