Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
Updating the house keeper because it took a turn. You all knew it would.
My Mama the control freak is consumed by her own lists. Notes all over the house where she watched the time the women arrived, worked, what was missed. Still, no task list given. Only verbal. Mom has a list but never gave it to the woman. Hmmmn?
Now we begin the new phase. The woman will now go to Mom with a notebook and write down what Mom says to do. Leave it for Mom to read.
Mom will either remark: that is not what I said/meant or almost and correct.
The next time the woman write down what Mom says she missed.
Here is my point. Aside from Mom being controlling because she is foggy. losing it, and trying not to show. I am tracking how accurate she is.
No way can I get her to agree to a memory test. That kind of talk will just send her into distrust and refusal of any help.
No matter what the list says, we have a cleaner house while I am back to work and my outside commitments. And Mom has loved the companionship of someone who is doing tasks she use to. That is worth all the fuss so far.
Cheers
P
My Mama the control freak is consumed by her own lists. Notes all over the house where she watched the time the women arrived, worked, what was missed. Still, no task list given. Only verbal. Mom has a list but never gave it to the woman. Hmmmn?
Now we begin the new phase. The woman will now go to Mom with a notebook and write down what Mom says to do. Leave it for Mom to read.
Mom will either remark: that is not what I said/meant or almost and correct.
The next time the woman write down what Mom says she missed.
Here is my point. Aside from Mom being controlling because she is foggy. losing it, and trying not to show. I am tracking how accurate she is.
No way can I get her to agree to a memory test. That kind of talk will just send her into distrust and refusal of any help.
No matter what the list says, we have a cleaner house while I am back to work and my outside commitments. And Mom has loved the companionship of someone who is doing tasks she use to. That is worth all the fuss so far.
Cheers
P
What I have noticed with my mom is that she has an idea that she is forgetting things and having other memory issues like word finding. But she ignores it and so do I. It lets her pretend that everything is OK. I just make sure that the important or dangerous things are taken care of.
Like dealing with teenage children, we have to just get thru each day knowing it will end eventually. Sadly, in this case, the eventual end is permanent. But at that time, they will see each new day as an experience they never had before. They won't remember us. We have to remind them who we are. They will take to walls and people not really there. But we can at least see them be at peace.
The thing to watch out for is your mom's reaction. This may force her to admit to having memory issues, and that could be an entire new battle to go through.
The only negative is that Mom thinks I have a cleaner to free me up to leave the house more. She has major separation anxiety.
She does not like to leave the house now either. So, hard to get her out and around people. Got to have people around. That would become a disaster if she were not socialized at all.
Yes, a cleaner house is better. It is also easier for someone 30 years younger to crawl around deep cleaning and such. It really needed some attention.
As for the list, Mom made one and then lost the paper ...so she says.
For now, I am making the cleaner keep notes. She is a recent college grad in social work. So, I am getting notes on moms behavior too.
This is cool.
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My comment to Pep about "happy drugs" means something to sedate. Not that it really occurs when in use. It can SO go the other way. Be aware of what the younger generation puts in brownies though..its not parsley. PS. None of "that" in my house for 20 years.
Happy Drugs For my Mom: Bedtime:Doxepen (spelling) and 1/2 -1Klonipen Plus O2 nasal 2liters.
The daytime can also add the klonipen. Now, I am not doping her up. She needs rest and wont over night (sun-downers began 4 years ago) She also is aware of needed it when she gets into a tizzy or etc.
She does not like to rest so usually tries to avoid day use.
It is way easier dealing with vascular dementia when sleep, nutrition, O2, and routine are in place. Man, what a difference. I am hoping we do not have to experience the ALZ need for the medications used with this disease. It was explained to me that Mom may need them so her brain will remember to breathe. Sigh.
P