Caring For Aging Parents Support Group

Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.

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horrible sister

Anna1212
Anna1212

my narcissist sister offered to take mom to doctor which is good.  i am sick or would have done it because i don't trust her.  sure enough she texts me today that she is taking her as planned but leaving her there alone because she has arbitrarily scheduled an appontment for herself (god knows what, most likely something very unnecessary) right in the middle of my mother's appointment, leaving her there alone to deal with medical people and to wait for her return for at least an hour probably in a medical care place (corona virus around) for not good reason.  my mom is 86.  needs some supervision when going to doctor.  my sister knows this.  i would never leave her alone there like that.  my mom needs someone with her at the appontments.  arrggghhh.  i am sick and don't want to go and infect my mother. plus i need to rest.  i work 12 hours days and this is my day off.  my sister works part time from home is doesn't even need to work cuz her husband is rich.  what the hell is wrong with that bitch?  

Blessed2674
Blessed2674
Anna1212, I am so sorry that your sister is so very selfish. And I pray that you are feeling better very soon! I also pray that everything went okay with your mom's appointment. If you have her sign a waiver so that the dr can share information with you over the phone, you can keep tabs are her appointments that way. And some medical establishments have websites with patient portals where you can sign in to see latest lab tests, prescriptions, and dr's notes. I know none of that answers your actual question about what is wrong with your sister but since you're all adults, I doubt anything is going to change her now. Best to just dig in and do the preventative work up front so that you have your mom's bases covered for times such as this.
Frustratedinaustin
Frustratedinaustin
I feel you. Past 13 yrs, my 88 yr old mother has lived with me. I get resentful at times towards my siblings and just recently told them so for the first time. The one thing I have learned, is that as caregivers, we are extremely compassionate people and our siblings are not and we have NO control over them.
Anna1212
Anna1212
thank you for your responses. good idea about getting waiver so I can get medical appt info. I know the frustration of dealing with the siblings. have been doing this for over 3 years and, no, they don't change. thank you for listening to me and for your ideas and support
urbangardener
urbangardener
Sometimes we have to accept that certain people are just not trustworthy in these situations. My in-laws MPOA allowed them to be taken to doctor's appointments by their caregivers, without any family members present. The in-laws could not longer speak for themselves and yet, they were left alone with a caregiver or sometimes not, and the caregiver didn't know their medical information. Beyond frustrating. Your sister can't or won't change so this means no longer choosing the option of asking your sister for her help. It isn't helpful help. You as the responsible one are left doing more or pulling back and doing less. It is a hard choice and a hard situation. I hope your mom gets her medical care alright.