I'm new to this group. I've been on other groups for years.
My dad fell on ice, cracked his skull, had bleeding on the brain and died three days later.
My dad was a gem. Kind, sweet, easy going, loving and the best. He adored me and our whole family. He worshipped my mom. That I don't understand. She was terrible to him when he got frail and sickly.
He had done everything for her always and did most of the housework. She just shopped endlessly, laid around eating, doing whatever she wanted while he took care of us as we grew up or my grandparents did.
Now I'm taking care of her, because my dad made me promise. She's 86. Not really sickly. She's diabetic supposedly, but eats cookies, pies, brownies and everything sweet and never seems to be reacting like a true diabetic does.
She doesn't take her pills unless I make her. She doesn't do her blood sugar testing. IF she does it's after eating sweets and of course it's sky high.
I've recently stopped bugging her to take her meds.
She naps a lot but always has.
I clean, she messes it up again. I leave for a day or two she destroys the house. Drops wrappers on the floor, never does dishes or cleans up after herself.
I do so much to try to keep her home clean. She doesn't appreciate it and won't try to be cleaner.
Her house smells. She never lets the dog outside. I do sometimes, but the dog bites!
She won't go to an assisted living because she can't leave her " beautiful" house my dad built.
It's no longer beautiful. It's falling apart, it's FULL of stuff because she's a hoarder.
We sneak junk out, put it in our trailer that's hid in her garage. It's trash. Not useable, not worth anything. In two trips we took over 3,000 lbs if her junk to an incinerator place by our house. Didn't even make a dent.
She's my mom. I guess I love her but don't like her. Never did as a kid.
My grandma lived across the street and she basically was my mom.
When I had kids, ironically she became an awesome grandma. I never got that love and attention.
She loves her ratty little dog more than she ever showed love to me.
My brothers rarely come see her. They won't be in her terrible house. ItsI got mice, too. One brother now comes every other week and takes her out to eat. But he won't help with the house or be in the house.
Other brother comes twice a year but calls me to give me orders what my boyfriend needs to fix at mom's.
I hate my life. I miss my home. My boyfriend even got a job here, so now our house just sits 80 miles away. We go there for a day or two every other week. I cry when we leave it.
This weekend boyfriend is staying at Mom's to work on her bathroom and I AM going home for two days.
Only plus to this is I see my kids and grandkids more.
We've went broke the last year running here anytime my dad fell or got sick and mom wouldn't take care of him. My boyfriend lost several jobs because we rushed to help every time dad fell. She wouldn't call ambulance or anyone else who lived closer.
I know my dad got weak and sickly because she didn't feed him. He lived on cookies. I d bring food, frozen in individual portions. She wouldn't defrost and cook for him.
He died on a cold, icy night because she had shopped. She didn't want to carry the groceries in, so she sent him out to do it.
He fell on ice, cracked his skull and laid there bleeding for over an hour. He had bleeding on the brain. She had wrapped up on the couch and fell asleep while he was trying to bring in groceries. He used a cane!!! He walked hunched over.
She woke up over an hour after she'd sent him out to do it. She didn't know where he was. Found him bleeding on the ground and unconscious.
While at the hospital, she didn't cry. She thoroughly enjoyed talking to everyone who came to see him and say goodbye. She slept, got pampered, laughed and joked with family and friends.
At the funeral, she never cried, still hasn't!
They were married 65 years!
Should I feel guilty I hate taking care of her? But I promised my dad.
So I do it, gritting my teeth . And being angry when not in the same room.
Sometimes there is no managing my PTSD symptoms and the best thing I can do is just let them be there and keep on doing as much of my life as I am able to do. Other times, there are things I can do to help myself reduce the effects of my symptoms or even reduce the symptom occurences themselves.What are those things that I can do to help?Well, for one, I can remember that no matter how bad I...
I have tried to rest as much as possible today (still without sleep for going on three days now) so that I can make it to this appointment which is a two hour round trip.all good thoughts and energy much appreciated. send it on!