Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I've posted in here before about the care of my mother. She's always been in good health however she lives with me and on ocassion she's been a bit selfish about my time. Last month my mother's doctor became concerned as her blood pressure increased significantly. Her medications were increased, her fatigue and nausea has subsided finally. She's started going out on her own with her close friend more often. So, all in all, it's been a much better situation all the way around. Count your blessings sometimes!!!!!!!!!!!
Yesterday, Sunday, DH and I left at 8:30a to go to the nursery to pick up some new plants for a garden bed. When we got home, my mother came flying out into the kitchen all upset. She looked pale, she was dizzy and said she had heart flutters. I was all ready to put her in the car and take her to the hospital. She said she came out into the kitchen to go to the garage and looked up and saw a man standing in our kitchen dressed in black with a helmet and glasses and was so startled by it she fell backwards into our dog gate. She said if it hadn't been for the dog gate she would have fallen to the floor. Apparently, my DH's Uncle dropped in, once again, unannounced and uninvited and decided to just walk in. The Uncle is only a few years older than my husband so they've remained good friends over the years. This isn't the first time that the Uncle has done this. He repeatedly drops by without any prior notification or invitation, never knocks, walks into our house whenever he pleases. I've been silently biting my tongue over this issue for a very long time. His Uncle has done this to her before and scared her. My husband called his Uncle to see what he stopped by for so early on a Sunday morning. His Uncle had the nerve to be upset and said, "Gee, I never thought I wouldn't be wanted at your home" Your mother-in-law asked me to leave because neither of you were home. He was actually insulted. Clearly when he drove up our driveway my DH's truck was not there so why would he just pop in????
I would like to know what other's think here? I would like to tell this man off and never allow him into my home again! Scaring an 84 year old woman to that degree is just not acceptable! My mother wasn't herself all day yesterday. She had to keep lying down. She was fine this morning but I'm still so upset. He could very well have given her a heart attack.
Yesterday, Sunday, DH and I left at 8:30a to go to the nursery to pick up some new plants for a garden bed. When we got home, my mother came flying out into the kitchen all upset. She looked pale, she was dizzy and said she had heart flutters. I was all ready to put her in the car and take her to the hospital. She said she came out into the kitchen to go to the garage and looked up and saw a man standing in our kitchen dressed in black with a helmet and glasses and was so startled by it she fell backwards into our dog gate. She said if it hadn't been for the dog gate she would have fallen to the floor. Apparently, my DH's Uncle dropped in, once again, unannounced and uninvited and decided to just walk in. The Uncle is only a few years older than my husband so they've remained good friends over the years. This isn't the first time that the Uncle has done this. He repeatedly drops by without any prior notification or invitation, never knocks, walks into our house whenever he pleases. I've been silently biting my tongue over this issue for a very long time. His Uncle has done this to her before and scared her. My husband called his Uncle to see what he stopped by for so early on a Sunday morning. His Uncle had the nerve to be upset and said, "Gee, I never thought I wouldn't be wanted at your home" Your mother-in-law asked me to leave because neither of you were home. He was actually insulted. Clearly when he drove up our driveway my DH's truck was not there so why would he just pop in????
I would like to know what other's think here? I would like to tell this man off and never allow him into my home again! Scaring an 84 year old woman to that degree is just not acceptable! My mother wasn't herself all day yesterday. She had to keep lying down. She was fine this morning but I'm still so upset. He could very well have given her a heart attack.
i would demand respect that he adheres to your request to call before coming over if his feelings are insulted then he needs to get over it and respect your requests. your mother is most important now more than anyones feelings getting hurt do not worry he will survive the insult but your mothers security is more important. stick to your guns on this one mom could have broken her neck!!! tell him does he want this on his head if this action would have caused her to have a heart attack? how would he like it if somone did that to him???? just tell him from now on he has to call does he have the key to the house? then tell him to return the key. or do you leave the doors unlocked? how did he enter the house? lock the doors from now on...............
god bless
My mother does have a sore foot, she thinks she twisted it when she fell backwards. She has problems with her feet sometimes so I told her that if it didn't clear up in a few days, I'll take her to her doctor's office to get it checked. It only takes one good fall for the elderly; if they break something, the recovery is long and very often, they do not ever recover, they spiral downwards after that. That's what I'm upset about.
And Yes, repeatedly we've told this man to please knock before he comes in, and please call us prior to your unannounced visits but he pays no attention to it. Why would you walk into someone's home with a motorcycle helmet on and sunglasses? You would at least think he would have taken them off prior to getting off his bike? Who at 61 drives a motorcycle anyway?????? That part is laughable!
My mother always keeps the doors locked when she's home alone. I think because it was a Sunday and we were just running to the nursery down the road from us, she just forgot to lock it.
I think it's way passed the time that we were polite to this man; clearly asking him not to come over unexpected hasn't worked, it's now time to lay down the law!
Thanks again for the feedback, I do feel better knowing others out there feel the same as me.
god bless....................
For your mom, maybe a First Alert (or similar) to call for help may be in order if you do not have already. Any reason could have caused a fall, upset..etc. How would she have gotten help?
Just a thought
Best Wishes
P
Everyone in a home has the right to feel safe. Visitors who don't understand should be locked out. I'd change the locks. Mil could have a heart attack. Then you are having to take care of her. That is not right.
Hang in there