Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I finally told my father that he needs medication for his mental disorder. He's possibly bipolar with sociopathic tendencies. Of course he screamed, cursed, and refused to listen. Said all sorts of evil things to me, accusing me of stuff that didn't happen. All part of his disease.
I'd avoided coming straight out and telling him. He's been off medication for 4 years, after his old one was discontinued. He felt that he didn't need it. I knew I had to tell him. If there's any chance he can get help, I've got to try. I love him and want the best for him, but he's a danger to other people. He's threatened to kill people before and has the means to do it. I've talked to a lawyer to see if I could force him to get help, but our legal system fails in that area.
Think about the recent shootings and the relatives that fought fruitlessly to get help for their loved ones and you'll see what I mean.
So, I figured if he was on meds for over 40 years, I had to at least try to get him back on them. I see it as not only saving my father's lives, but more importantly the lives of unsuspecting victims out there. At any rate, I prayed and felt the strength that God gave me--like putting on an armor, then I told him. As he shouted and threatened, I felt like knife wounds were trying to pierce my armor, but it was just to strong to get through. I'm sitting here now, my blood pressure and pulse rate under control, but sadly, dad hung up. So, that's it. I've done everything I could--I've talked to lawyers, tried to see his doctor, and prayed--that's all I can do. I'm letting it go now. If he ever calls me again, I will talk to him and continue to try and help him. But he's his own man. I can't help him if he doesn't want help. I can only love him, but it will be from a distance.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
I'd avoided coming straight out and telling him. He's been off medication for 4 years, after his old one was discontinued. He felt that he didn't need it. I knew I had to tell him. If there's any chance he can get help, I've got to try. I love him and want the best for him, but he's a danger to other people. He's threatened to kill people before and has the means to do it. I've talked to a lawyer to see if I could force him to get help, but our legal system fails in that area.
Think about the recent shootings and the relatives that fought fruitlessly to get help for their loved ones and you'll see what I mean.
So, I figured if he was on meds for over 40 years, I had to at least try to get him back on them. I see it as not only saving my father's lives, but more importantly the lives of unsuspecting victims out there. At any rate, I prayed and felt the strength that God gave me--like putting on an armor, then I told him. As he shouted and threatened, I felt like knife wounds were trying to pierce my armor, but it was just to strong to get through. I'm sitting here now, my blood pressure and pulse rate under control, but sadly, dad hung up. So, that's it. I've done everything I could--I've talked to lawyers, tried to see his doctor, and prayed--that's all I can do. I'm letting it go now. If he ever calls me again, I will talk to him and continue to try and help him. But he's his own man. I can't help him if he doesn't want help. I can only love him, but it will be from a distance.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
I feel for you. You've done everything that you can or could do to help your father.
Unfortunately, the law is on your father's side here. It's called the right of way law. Patients, just because the meds are prescribed for them doesn't mean that they have to take them. It's almost impossible for the rest of the family to have to police the medications to ensure the patient is taking them properly. To ensure that he was in a facility where he could be monitored would mean a whole slew of legal issues. No "one" person can just have another declared incompetent without it going through the court system and a full evaluation done.
I went through this with my own father many years before he passed away. Legally; it was a joke what we were not able to accomplish until just a few months before he passed away. Sickening!!!!!!!!!!!!! As for the doctor; he/she would never discuss him with you unless you have a POA in place.
It's really sad for him because he has you that would take care of him. Sometimes things are just out of our hands. We have to hope that God will show the way, somewhere or sometime.....
Your in my prayers.
You take care of yourself, you're a very kind and caring person!
Pam