I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. It is a very difficult and heartbreaking thing to go through. Even though it's going to be very hard, do not give up hope and do not let the situation get the best of you. And don't let it get between your relationship (no matter if you and your mom are close or semi-close). She is going to need you more than ever.

Since you have POA, you may have to act on her behalf to make medical, financial and housing decisions. You will have to be firm and strict (but still loving) in getting the care she needs. First step would be to take her to the doctor (you make the appointment and take her). Strike up a conversation stating you love her, care about her and want to see her get well/her life depends on it. Ask her wouldn't she want to know what's going on. Then be getting the ball rolling on nursing care (assisted living, independent living, nursing home or hospice care)

Back in January 2014 I had to make the gut-wrenching decision to put my mom in a nursing home (even though I had promised her years earlier I wouldn't). And boy did she fight with me on it. Blamming me and putting a guilt trip on me constantly. But I had no choice-it was clear that she needed 24 hour care that I was not able to provide-because of her dementia along with memory loss, falls, not managing her money/bills, and not taking her medicine correctly.

I had to keep telling myself it was for the best for both of us. It's not exactly a win win situation, but my mom was being taken care of (more than I could). For awhile, I still doubted that sometimes, but you have to do what you have to do.

And do try to make the most out of this and the time you have with her. Make good memories and cherish them. Always tell her you love her. You don't know that the last time you speak to her/see her could be the last. My mom passed away 12/31/16. It took me awhile to process her death and get through the journey. It also took me awhile to finally have peace but I am at peace now and am looking forward to the day I see her again in Heaven.

Wow, this is a hard situation to be in.

One thing I've learned is that we need to understand the landscape of the interaction we are having with our parent before we jump into it:

The disagreement can be based in logic; yes her grand daughter loves fish and it would make a good meal for her, but her boyfriend is allergic to fish, so it needs to be something else.

The disagreement can be based in emotion. This is where we are with my MIL. She holds onto the idea that she could still live alone because in her mind not being able to live alone means that she is not competent. Black and white issue.

For you the disagreement is based in dementia. It is not based on logic, nor is it based on emotion. It is based on her incorrect perception of reality. This is the hardest one to deal with, in my opinion.

When my mother was in the earlier stages of dementia (or having a good day) it was easy to guide her back into reality. But when she was in the later stages of dementia (or having a bad day) that was not possible. The balance can be very hard to work out. Like 4Jesus said, the day comes when we have to use our POA in a very forceful way. And it sounds like that day has come for you.

Exercising that POA can be difficult in many ways. But it sounds like you need to take over the management of her assets. You may be able to give her a debit card, or a checking account with a low balance, and put her on an allowance where she gets a certain amount of money per week (or month) that she can spend as she sees fit.

Gentle hugs

She may know in lucid times that this is happening and she doesn't want to know the diagnosis

I would sit down with her when she's lucid and encourage her to see the doctor.... Let her know that there may be some medication that can help

I would call your mom's doctor if she won't go and see if he/she would consider making a house call as well I would ask for a referral to a social worker and Community Care for while she's at home

Is she living alone??... If she is that's a big deal and potentially dangerous.... My mom used to put things on the stove, turn it on and forget about it but I was there to keep an eye on things

People will also want to go home quite often and that means they'll leave to look for their childhood home.... This is when a lot of people with dementia go missing

In the earlier stages they remember years ago but not the present quite often

My intent isn't to freak you out but I'm trying to be straight with you.... My mom had dementia and I've worked with it in the Community

As dementia worsens people can become really combative ... There are meds that can help

She really needs to see a doctor.... I would at least talk with her doctor to see what he/she thinks you should do next

A psych assessment can be done in the home and that would start with a community care agency and a social worker

I know it's hard and it's painful.... Gentle hug and a blessing.....xo

Hi thank you for you input, no she doesn’t live by herself I stay with her, I was working a full time job, when I started realizing that she was becoming forgetful, misplacing her things, asking same questions over and over, I quit my job which I don’t think was the smartest thing to do without thinking of some other way to make income,the hardest part is she thinking that everything is ok with her when it’s not,