Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I had been kind of wondering how mom would be doing thismorning, after her two tough days.
When I got there they were just getting her up. That was 11:00am. It was going to take them a while and I had only fifteen minutes to stay before I had to leave for an out of town appointment.
I came intio the city, the same side that her home is. About a 5 minute detour to go by there.
Got to the home, couldn't see at tables where everyone else was eating They told me that they had put her to bed and were going to feed her supper in bed. This was a first.When i looked in her room she was sound asleep and there was no point in me being there so I just told them to phone me later if they needed me.
I often praise the aides that work with my mother. I know that it is a hard job and they do the best they can but the staff that was on tonight were not my favorites. Neither was the LPN.
When I got home Iexted my brother about our days. Turns out that they have started mom, on some drug that she is already on. Now she is taking triple the strength.
Know that I shouldn't be as upset as I am it was just very difficult to see her have such an awful day. Then drugged both time when I went there this morning and afternoon.
I suppose I came close to yelling because I told them that her wrist was not broken but very arthiritic. The aide proceeded to take her left arm and started to push it into a sweater arm.
I did have my days scheduled when I went to see mom. I know that dementia suffers have less problems if everything happens regularly. Probably will phone before I go so I can be sure that I can have some sort of conversation.
Probably she has been disruptive because of sleep issues lately. Can see how she needs the sleep at night, but during the day. Especially when I go there everday and check on things.
Think I have ranted long enough. Thanks to those whoi have made it this far.
Just very angry and didn't know who to tell that would understand how difficult situations like this be with parents with advanced dementia.
On top of it all my day started with the tow truck driver from my automobile membership came, wouldn't change my tire but was happy to yell at me. I am sure the whole street heard.
You can be sure that, my first call tomorrow am, will be to the auto club.
Going to bed. Hoping tomorrow (actually am pretty sure it has to) will go better. At least my brother will come home and I don't have to cope with all on my own..
When I got there they were just getting her up. That was 11:00am. It was going to take them a while and I had only fifteen minutes to stay before I had to leave for an out of town appointment.
I came intio the city, the same side that her home is. About a 5 minute detour to go by there.
Got to the home, couldn't see at tables where everyone else was eating They told me that they had put her to bed and were going to feed her supper in bed. This was a first.When i looked in her room she was sound asleep and there was no point in me being there so I just told them to phone me later if they needed me.
I often praise the aides that work with my mother. I know that it is a hard job and they do the best they can but the staff that was on tonight were not my favorites. Neither was the LPN.
When I got home Iexted my brother about our days. Turns out that they have started mom, on some drug that she is already on. Now she is taking triple the strength.
Know that I shouldn't be as upset as I am it was just very difficult to see her have such an awful day. Then drugged both time when I went there this morning and afternoon.
I suppose I came close to yelling because I told them that her wrist was not broken but very arthiritic. The aide proceeded to take her left arm and started to push it into a sweater arm.
I did have my days scheduled when I went to see mom. I know that dementia suffers have less problems if everything happens regularly. Probably will phone before I go so I can be sure that I can have some sort of conversation.
Probably she has been disruptive because of sleep issues lately. Can see how she needs the sleep at night, but during the day. Especially when I go there everday and check on things.
Think I have ranted long enough. Thanks to those whoi have made it this far.
Just very angry and didn't know who to tell that would understand how difficult situations like this be with parents with advanced dementia.
On top of it all my day started with the tow truck driver from my automobile membership came, wouldn't change my tire but was happy to yell at me. I am sure the whole street heard.
You can be sure that, my first call tomorrow am, will be to the auto club.
Going to bed. Hoping tomorrow (actually am pretty sure it has to) will go better. At least my brother will come home and I don't have to cope with all on my own..
Maybe before you visit it would be a good idea to call the desk nurse and ask how she's doing and then gage on whether you should drive over for a visit?
So sad, it brings back so many memories of those days. Sorry to hear that you and your mother have to be at this stage in your lives.
Have you considered her daily schedule in the facility? I still volunteer at several homes where I was allowed to study for my degrees.
Many times the activities are so well received by residents that they exhaust themselves having fun and then fall asleep later. We suggest that family visit during activities to build memories for both of happy times. Visits during stimulation will also provide mother with another thing to anticipate.
Other than that - the adjustment to new medications can seem hard but time will allow her body to adapt and be wakeful when you are there. Try to find comfort in this stage is pretty easy for mother - she is less aware of the past mistakes she made and living in the moment. Almost like a baby is happy when they are happy and sad when they are sad with little introspective thinking. She most likely forgets anything bad as soon as it passes (this is the majority of cases). Find comfort that you are doing the best that you can and rest in peaceful knowledge that she is cared for even while you sleep. She will not be left to fall all alone and have to yell for you. There is staff who hear her at night and lift her back into bed very quickly. We all reach the same end in life. You can only do the best that you can do.
To update a bit.
I did call the home this morning and asked how she was doing. When they did get back to me, it was a LPN that had been away for three weeks and was trying to get up to speed.
After I told her all the of the stuff that had gone on this week, she was quite surprised The LPN that had been on earlier in the week hadn't charted what all of the goings on had been going on.
She said that she was going to get a hold of the doctor. By the time that my brother went, after supper, they had gotten her out of bed (she hadn't gotten up since Thursday, no food, no drink, woudn't take her pills), she had some Boost with tylenol (in a lot of pain) and had eaten some muffins, a couple of pieces of toast and some more boost.
I was going to see her today, but just couldn't do it. .Since my brother was back in town, I figured that I would just let him take care of it. Asked him to call me after his visit, but that was it.
My daughter and grand-daughter came this afternoon to stay with me for the weekend. Since they live out of town, mom doesn't see them very much. I am planning to take them to see her tomorrow afternoon for a 10 minutes, max, visit.
I will check at the desk first to make sure that she is awake before we leave since mom's place is just 7 minutes away from me. Also will make sure that she is up for a visit.
Things are looking much better than yesterday.
Will keep you posted.
I just wanted to say I'm glad things are better. I'm sure you're glad that one nurse is back. I know It makes me feel so much better to know someone is "on the ball" and really is interested and caring. Hopefully, the other nurse is the exception and not the rule.
Thinking of you and sending hugs your way!
Though it also seems a few weeks back that she was asking the staff about you over and over?? Forgive me if I am off base here. My point is recognizing a reason a charge nurse would sedate someone. It should be with your knowledge even if ordered by a doctor.
I am glad your brother is back and hoping the visit with your kids is welcoming.
P
Yes, it was just a couple of weeks ago that she was asking for me. Watching the clock for when I would come in the morning.
Today she is lethargic. She was eating on the weekend. Now nothing. Cannot get her out of bed. Drifts off but responds to touch
It does sound like a med issue, but I don't know what is happening with them. I get a different answer, depending on who I talk to. .
Very frustrating because we cannot figure out what to do.We can't get a doctor to see her, on site. The doctor (that was one of the choices that the home gave us to pick when she went in. We had to sign her off, on her gp when she went into the home. I guess she is not on his "to do" list.I hesitate to take her to the doctor's office but I am not sure if that is my only alternative.
I am hoping that I will be able to go tomorrow and see her. If I am still sick, I will make sure that I put it off until Wednesday.
I had a wonderful visit with my daughter and grand-daughter this weekend. Talked to them on the phone today and they had a good time too. I did take my daughter to see mom on Sunday. She said that it was difficult but she had wanted to go.