Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
Mom had mentioned a lump in her throat. Doctor attempted tests but she could not swallow the barium. She is not eating. Doc wants us to consider feeding tube. Hospice feels the tube will only serve to prolong her suffering. I happen to know mom will refuse it. All meds discontinued except liquid morphine, which she is now requesting after carrying on less than a week ago that she did not want it and they were forcing her. When her fella called her like he always does to say goodnight.....she told him "help me help me help me". He called me very shaken. I happen to know mom is the only reason he is staying here and that when she passes...he will be moving to California. So many losses in my future.
My dad had rotating sedatives with Morphine. He slipped into a comatose state quickly and for any coughing episodes or what seemed like anxiety, I just asked hospice to keep him heavily sedated, as much as they could and they did. His passing took almost 14 days - no food or water.
It was a most difficult time, but he was 89, mom had died and he just didn't want to be here anymore, and he had hit is head after a fall and had a major bleed in his brain.
Yes, it was a terrible loss to lose them both, one right after the other, but it has been almost three months since dad passed and life does go on.
Take time, be there for your mom to make sure she is kept comfortable, and pray for a peaceful passing.
Hugs to you Diane.
This is not easy. You are a good daughter. Be easy with yourself.
They wanted to put a feeding tube in mom. Dad "talked to her" about it in private and told us that she did not want it. I take that at face value, but both my parents have/had told me when they were healthy that they did not want heroics when they were older.
No feeding tube for mom. Dad did go for IV fluids, I would not have, but Dad's wishes were second to mom's, and mine were subordinate to dad's. So I kept quiet.
By all means, it sounds like you are representing your mother's wishes. This way you have no regrets. Yes, things MIGHT have been different if you took a different path. But you are taking the path SHE wants.
Continuing hugs.