Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I have a mom who has dementia im having a real hard time with her not being orginized,she is mean sometimes and refuses to let the staff of the assistant living shower her. I get that because she is modist so me being the only girl out of four siblings I am the one who trys to help her take a shower and she fights me all the way. I know she has lost her independence and I know she is depressed ( Which she is on meds ) I am getting to the point that I dont want to visit anymore and I dont want to feel that way. I miss my mom before the dementia. Please any suggestions on how to get her to shower.
Frustrated and confussed
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
https://www.caregiver.org/caregivers-guide-understanding-dementia-behaviors
I'd say to talk to the staff at the assisted living facility and get a handle on how often your mother needs to shower, and how often she should shower. (Could be 2 different answers.) Some people just get dirty faster than others. (We have a niece who smells very bad after a couple of hours of sweating even if she was 100% clean to start out with. And it does not take a massive workout type sweat either.)
Armed with this information, you may have an easier time getting her to shower.
As for the actual shower, I'd go with diversion. Perhaps getting her into a bathing suit and just getting "hosed off" in the shower that way might work? Or if she does not need that frequent of a shower perhaps more of a washcloth shower? (Arms, back, legs, get the rest every other time???)
And some of the best advice I have ever encountered is to keep all siblings up to date on what is going on. Being able to talk to your brothers when you are upset can be great. It may not help with the shower issue, but it can be great at keeping your blood pressure in the normal range!
Gentle hugs
What I'm trying to say is that you might have to get different people to coax/pressure her to shower. It's hard to understand the mind of a dementia patient. Trial and error until something works.