Caring For Aging Parents Support Group

Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.

852 Members

2,506 Posts

1 Online

angiebettin 09/02/2015

My dad cant eat or drink . He has j tubes in his stomach and one in small intestine. If he drinks or eats , he can asperate and gey pneumonia. He chews on gum. My mom has lukemia and diabetes. She takes 2 shots a day. I do laundry and change beds vacuum and other things.. my dad still has a garden and momgives dad his meds an formula. Its hard cause my sister is going through a deviorce. She never really helps much.I have bipolar. My dad took me off the will because of my bipolar. My sister drinks . I am very saddened, that I am oldest, she is yougest, and they trust her more. They even let strangers in when I'm not there. It worries me, but not my sis. She just says thats the way are. Social services came to house one day, because a physical theraphist said it was a hoaders house. They did nothing. My sis thought .I called. And its just really uupsetting to me. My mom goes shopping alot an collects stuff. My dad cant say nothing cause he is ill. Sometimes I dont know what to say or where to start cleaning cause, my mom will buy more. I get so fustrated.

ThePepperMan 09/02/2015

I don't know what to say. It is sad that you were taken off the will just because you are bipolar.

Perhaps talk to a lawyer? Find out if there is a way to make your parent's lives better because it sounds like an alcoholic is not a good choice.

Gentle hugs

blueviolet725 09/02/2015

throwing stuff out won't help a hoarder...they have to want the change. Is there a way that you can get them have home health aids come into the home and do the laundry and change the beds? I think your energies need to be spent on taking care of yourself, this sounds like it may be too upsetting for you. Sorry you are having such a hard time.

LeoX3 09/03/2015

Oh my.

I am in a position where I am praying my mom moves out so I can have part of my house back, and fix it, because she's trashed it.... I called Adult Srevices myself, for her sake. THey can't do anything if Mom wants to do nothing.

It's a horrible feeling.

I can't help her if she won't help herself.

But I can help me.

So take care of you, okay? Take a week off from doing their chores, talk to a lawyer and social services and/or elder care agencies, and see if there's other ways for them to be helped, so you can take care of yourself, okay?

Hope you can find help an dsupport. :-)

angiebettin 09/06/2015

I dont throw food products out cause sh will buy more. She goes out to eat anyways,but i try to on gargage day to throw out old food in frig.I can get her to do that. I don't think my husband would like me to see a lawyer about this.I talk to my mom nicely about having someone come in and help. She said if dad wasnt thier maybe. That makes me sadder when she says stuff like that. Yes it is hard, an now my husband is getting dragged in this cause my dad wantshis help with yard things. They had a service come, but just one kkid came an didnt do much.,plus senior care says my mom and dad make to much money. Mom, i love you but it is too much! Dad your in pain an i cant help you cause you just want mom. And my mom, she never was very clean. It hurts. I cant get a brake!

jazzkeys 09/08/2015

So sorry Angie, sounds like me, you're stuck. Some things will work themselves out, just make an effort to take care of you sometimes. It's easy to forget about us, we give and give and forget to take care of us. We do pay for that, so remember to take care of YOU.

Join the Conversation