Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
My My My I say shaking my head most days. Mom is a real bear to care for now.
Stoke in eye she had a couple weeks ago turned out well. Stayed in her eye and no damage. Plus we could see her health in total. She passes well for her age. Except the difficulty getting around. You know COPD, Cardiomyopathy, and edema in the legs.
So the Home Health is still in the mix. They have to assess her and get back to the DR. This kind of flushes out the real from the "dying duck in ta thunderstorm.." type thing. You know what I mean??
But so much of Not being alone recently has her smothered. And I know it. Have tried to hide people downstairs when I am gone but they dogs interact and she heard them through a vent. Oh she knew who it was since I only have ONE person who can watch Mom. Trying to train and pay for a second person. We pretend she is coming to help ME out since I have diabetes and neuropathy in my legs. Sort of works but Mom picks at her a lot. The woman doesn't care because her grandma was like this till she died. Wow. I have a lot to learn from her.
I am absolutely tired. The woman has turned into a vicious woman.
I kind of wonder if she knows the DR will MAKE her have physical therapy in home to see if she is capable of getting more stable on her feet.
Sorry this is a lot of venting and details that ramble a bit. Things just got a little too much today when I realized there are 12 days til Christmas. I have a tree up and much stress to go around. My brother is coming to visit. Think I will pick a day to have to work over time while he is here to hang out. I will run off to have some fun with a friend...
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Stoke in eye she had a couple weeks ago turned out well. Stayed in her eye and no damage. Plus we could see her health in total. She passes well for her age. Except the difficulty getting around. You know COPD, Cardiomyopathy, and edema in the legs.
So the Home Health is still in the mix. They have to assess her and get back to the DR. This kind of flushes out the real from the "dying duck in ta thunderstorm.." type thing. You know what I mean??
But so much of Not being alone recently has her smothered. And I know it. Have tried to hide people downstairs when I am gone but they dogs interact and she heard them through a vent. Oh she knew who it was since I only have ONE person who can watch Mom. Trying to train and pay for a second person. We pretend she is coming to help ME out since I have diabetes and neuropathy in my legs. Sort of works but Mom picks at her a lot. The woman doesn't care because her grandma was like this till she died. Wow. I have a lot to learn from her.
I am absolutely tired. The woman has turned into a vicious woman.
I kind of wonder if she knows the DR will MAKE her have physical therapy in home to see if she is capable of getting more stable on her feet.
Sorry this is a lot of venting and details that ramble a bit. Things just got a little too much today when I realized there are 12 days til Christmas. I have a tree up and much stress to go around. My brother is coming to visit. Think I will pick a day to have to work over time while he is here to hang out. I will run off to have some fun with a friend...
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I figured a bit of explanation might be needed for anyone who never heard such a thing. Folklore is certainly an interesting part of humanity.
Cheers
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Are you saying that mother's care givers for when you are at work are unwanted by mother and you have to have them HIDE? or pretend they are helping you?
This would become trying because the human spirit detests lying long term. Keeping up the lies means remembering all sorts of convoluted facts that begin to wear one down really badly.
Sounds like mom needs to get up and do more for herself. Especially if she does not want the care givers. No one can care for another person 24/7 without eventually needing rest and time away from the stress. We are only human. You have health issues yourself and deserve to have rest times to keep your own health well.
Not sure if I have any ideas how to end the pretending. Hope you figure out something to care for yourself too.
It is far better that she doesn't know.all the business of the day.either. She was always a controlling woman. Some of it better but things are different now. She needs room to be herself.
Not certain how much she can get up and do. DR told her years ago that walking was the only exertion she should do. Steps once a day. No lifting more than a jug of milk. So Dad did all,
If I had not been there to hear a DR say this it may be that we all would have thought she was exaggerating her illnesses. Now it is time for Home Health who wants to stabilize her walking. It will give her some attention and I will be able to see the kind of help I need.
I plan to get her DR to outline some things to go by as you suggest. She will follow his advice.
My whole life has been spent avoiding mellow drama with my parents, Dad was awful too and Mom is where I learned how to keep situations from him. Most harmless. She doesn't seem to remember that about the old days thank goodness!!
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Peaceful is there any chance of getting mom to an inpatient rehab? My mom just did that after a week in the hospital. They are great at getting people moving and thye have all the equipment to do it properly.
We are also dealing with the aides. Mom has had one 24 hrs a day since she came home from rehab but that ends later this morning. Then we will see how she does on her own with just an hour in the am, afternoon and pm plus an aide to take her to the doctor. We should be able to tell pretty quickly what she needs.
If you mom likes doctors then by all means use them!! My MIL was like that and it was great. Funny story, they told her she has to cut certain foods out and watch her weight....the woman lost 40 lbs and kept it off the rest of her life. Too bad they hadn't told her that years earlier, lol.
We talked today and she agreed to a watch that can call for help. It will page me. She does not want a key left out for someone to get inside. In time, when we "have to" increase services we will do whatvwe must.
My brother and sis-inlaw took care of her Dad at home 3 years. In some ways they understand the resoonsibility. Her father was much older than my Mom but in great health. In some ways they had a tougjer time since dementia was his hidden disablity. Often trying change health insurance to add the family dog.
So yes...gonna have this brother take a turn here and there. But not wear him out cuz I want him to come back!! lol
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