Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I can not believe how horrible the July 4th was including my Mom in our routine. Going to the fireworks was easy to go to. It was at a chirch with a lot of parking. We got a space and sat on chair in front of the car. Oh my. Someone flipped a switch and Mom became...hateful to people.
A woman was looking our direction. Who knew why and who cares right?. Mom was grumpy about it. Mom finally yelled at her. Poor thing. For all I knew she was a member of the church and planted the bushes where we parked the car.!! Then, someone was smoking. That is always bad. She is so rude. We live in a collge town and have many international students. Yes, it seems the smoker could have been from another country. Mom was a raving biggot.
What is going on with her? I am embarrassed and feel pain from the months of having her in my life daily. It was easier living 20 miles away.
So now what? I tried to talk to one of my brothers who of course doesnt want to take sides. After all, how would I feel if he sided with her view points. My sister is similar but is sorry it is so terrible. She honestly hated how Mom and Dad treated us when we were younger and has tried hard to be more at ease in her life by keeping a distance.
Last but not least here. For my caregiving, it was decided by Dad and she that the house would be mine. And from 95 I have painted inside and out, remodled, and came to every call when the basement flooded. Now she says it is mine to live in only. Not my home. Passes to the next in line for a home and down the line. I am not sure how to find out if she could really change the trust? I want to think it is just a nasty thing to pull or say and hoping it is ok. Yet, dont want to be a fool. Mom has a copy of the trust here but that does not mean it is the real one. She changed beneficiaries and cut 11 people from small portions of money that may remain when she goes.
Wow, this really feels bad. I have so little money as savings were tapped from storing all my household, and so much more.
I would be interested in reading what people take from this post. Believe me when I say there is no one to talk to about this.
A woman was looking our direction. Who knew why and who cares right?. Mom was grumpy about it. Mom finally yelled at her. Poor thing. For all I knew she was a member of the church and planted the bushes where we parked the car.!! Then, someone was smoking. That is always bad. She is so rude. We live in a collge town and have many international students. Yes, it seems the smoker could have been from another country. Mom was a raving biggot.
What is going on with her? I am embarrassed and feel pain from the months of having her in my life daily. It was easier living 20 miles away.
So now what? I tried to talk to one of my brothers who of course doesnt want to take sides. After all, how would I feel if he sided with her view points. My sister is similar but is sorry it is so terrible. She honestly hated how Mom and Dad treated us when we were younger and has tried hard to be more at ease in her life by keeping a distance.
Last but not least here. For my caregiving, it was decided by Dad and she that the house would be mine. And from 95 I have painted inside and out, remodled, and came to every call when the basement flooded. Now she says it is mine to live in only. Not my home. Passes to the next in line for a home and down the line. I am not sure how to find out if she could really change the trust? I want to think it is just a nasty thing to pull or say and hoping it is ok. Yet, dont want to be a fool. Mom has a copy of the trust here but that does not mean it is the real one. She changed beneficiaries and cut 11 people from small portions of money that may remain when she goes.
Wow, this really feels bad. I have so little money as savings were tapped from storing all my household, and so much more.
I would be interested in reading what people take from this post. Believe me when I say there is no one to talk to about this.
I gather that your parents may always have been a bit difficult in light of what you wrote about your sister and why she is keeping your distance. Your mother's behaviour, therefore, may merely be a continuation of past behavior made worse by the aging process which seems to make some (many?) seniors a bit more grumpy and negative. Alternatively, it could also be that she is ill. It could be something as simple as a urinary tract infection (which can cause behavior problems) or something more serious. You may want to speak with her about her behavior and encourage her to see a doctor for a thorough check-up.
With respect to the trust and home-ownership issues (and your potential rights), I suggest that you consult an attorney specializing in Trusts & Estates matters in your state. (S)He will be able to advise you and most initial consultations are either free or at a low fixed fee.
I wish you well!