Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I hope the following helps others as it has helped me...
A Caregivers Bill of Rights
By Wendy Lustbader
I have the right:
1. To take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will give me the capability of taking better care of my loved one.
2. To seek help from others even though my loved one may object. I recognize the limits of my own endurance and strength.
3. To maintain facets of my own life that do not include the person I provide care for, just as I would if he or she were healthy. I know that I do everything I reasonably can for this person and I have the right to do some things just for myself.
4. To get angry, be depressed and express other difficult feelings occasionally.
5. To reject any attempt by my loved one [either conscious or unconscious] to manipulate me through guilt, anger or depression.
6. To receive consideration, affection, forgiveness and acceptance for what I do for my loved one for as long as I offer these qualities in return.
7. To take pride in what I am accomplishing and to applaud the courage it has sometimes taken to meet the needs of my loved one.
8. To protect my individuality and my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me in the time when my loved one no longer needs my full time help.
9. To expect and demand that as new strides are made in finding resources to aid physically and mentally impaired older persons in our country, similar strides will be made toward aiding and supporting caregivers.
Wendy Lustbader, M.S.W. , is a mental health counselor at Pike Market Medical Clinic in Seattle and affiliate assistant professor at the University of Washington School of Social Work. She also lectures nationally on topics related to chronic illness, aging, and the needs of family caregivers. She is the co-author of Taking Care of Aging Family Members: A Practical Guide and author of Counting on Kindness: The Dilemmas of Dependency, both published by the Free Press.
Source: http://alzheimers.about.com/od/advocates/a/bill_of_rights.htm
A Caregivers Bill of Rights
By Wendy Lustbader
I have the right:
1. To take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will give me the capability of taking better care of my loved one.
2. To seek help from others even though my loved one may object. I recognize the limits of my own endurance and strength.
3. To maintain facets of my own life that do not include the person I provide care for, just as I would if he or she were healthy. I know that I do everything I reasonably can for this person and I have the right to do some things just for myself.
4. To get angry, be depressed and express other difficult feelings occasionally.
5. To reject any attempt by my loved one [either conscious or unconscious] to manipulate me through guilt, anger or depression.
6. To receive consideration, affection, forgiveness and acceptance for what I do for my loved one for as long as I offer these qualities in return.
7. To take pride in what I am accomplishing and to applaud the courage it has sometimes taken to meet the needs of my loved one.
8. To protect my individuality and my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me in the time when my loved one no longer needs my full time help.
9. To expect and demand that as new strides are made in finding resources to aid physically and mentally impaired older persons in our country, similar strides will be made toward aiding and supporting caregivers.
Wendy Lustbader, M.S.W. , is a mental health counselor at Pike Market Medical Clinic in Seattle and affiliate assistant professor at the University of Washington School of Social Work. She also lectures nationally on topics related to chronic illness, aging, and the needs of family caregivers. She is the co-author of Taking Care of Aging Family Members: A Practical Guide and author of Counting on Kindness: The Dilemmas of Dependency, both published by the Free Press.
Source: http://alzheimers.about.com/od/advocates/a/bill_of_rights.htm
To refuse to make long term promises to the one I am caring for. The day may come when their care needs are greater than my physical and/or mental abilities can support. If and when that comes I have the right to withdraw.