I have worked in LTC for many many years. Yes the job is INCERDIBLY stressful and so many families are so hard to please and terribly tough to the staff. Its easy to develop a bad attitude and OMG how we would CRINGE when we saw certain family members copme roaring in with another list of complaints!

So PLLLEEEASSSEEE dont automatically assume everyone who works in LTC is no good.

Thank you for this post. I have had relatives die from brain tumors, cancer, and dementia. Bar far the best situations where when exhausted family allowed elders to spend peacfilled time in a skilled care facility. It is so important to actually tour and check them out before they are needed so the best one can be chosen.

We all know the fact is that the child who is the primary eventually ends up alone and exhausted. We hear about poor ratios in skilled care while ignoring that most seniors are at home with JUST ONE caregiver who never gets any rest. No one would accept that one on one without rest for a nurse is acceptable but somehow a child is supposed to be able to do such a thing. It make no sense.
No one can give all of themselves to another who is ill without rest and continue to give quality care.

I know people who automatically assume that my uncle had to have a history of assualting others just to hang on tight to these prejudiced views of skilled care. Because they don't understand the actual deteroriation of dementia, they think it is OK to make wild claims and turn their backs on the people whose grief is only magnified. Trying to explain to such narrow minded people only brings on more verbal abuse.

I imagine these same people are very narrow minded about skilled care and probably cause total grief for staff.

TroJan, I absolutely agree with you. My father was in long term care in a great nursing facility. They were wonderful people and quite frankly I don't know how they did it with him. He suffered from alzheimers and became very verbally and physically abusive. My mother and I were so embarrassed by his actions that we'd cringe every day we walked in the door! They were loving and caring professionals and I can't thank them enough for the care they gave him, right up to the end. The LTC staff have a stressful and at times "thankless job". My hats off to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pd2012,

Thank you for your comments. SO many refuse to understand that this disease can create physical and verbal abuse in the ill. They instanty assume the he was a mean nasty cur who had a history of abuse without caring at all about the family's feelings.
It is nice to have someone who understands that my uncle deserved to have a place in skilled care.

Thanks
Sunny

After my brother and I go visit my mother, we often thank the staff for taking such good care for her.

As I said in my first comment that started this thread. I think that most of the staff that cares for her are very special. That they do a very good job. Certainly a job that I couldn't do.

I dont understand the total hostility toward skilled that care! Like all life decisions, it must be planned for and choices made before a crisis occurs. Like everything else in life, there are people who refuse to actually learn what is available and people who are just totally hostile and prejudice for reasons other than reality. In every institution, including family homes, there are good ones and not so good ones. Of course, then there are people who will blow up every tiny incident until it sounds like a crisis. It is so sad that elderly are stuck in homes with only one unskilled care giver trying to provide all the needs to the patient to the point of being too exhausted to actually pay attention. Then there are children who are such martyrs that they refuse to let parents have skilled care using any story about such facilities to support their martyrdom.

My father was cared for by a wonderful group of caregivers who helped the entire family understand the changes. They made sure we understood what was going on and got the family together when the end was near. It does take work to find the right fit. But it is the most kindness a child can offer to a parent.

Please end this thread

Not before I say one last thing please! If we want the best care for our elderly population it behooves us all to treat the staff like family and give them the benefit of the doubt.

I am not sure why I got the last reply.

I had unsubscribed to this thread.

That for everyone's help in the subjects that I brought, while in this forum. I appreciated them the comments.

That was not aimed at anyone in particular. Just a general statement.=)