Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I wanted to title this "Losing her mind?" because I just experienced something w/my mom today (she's 94 but still has a paying job on Sat., volunteers, is pretty together mostly)... that I just still can't get over.
She has some horrible - I mean HORRIBLE - neighbors. They define "poor (not sure about that), white trash." Trash and junk is always all around their house, teenage daughters have ALL had out-of wedlock kids (not that I care about the marriage part, but still...), dodgy types coming and going... just a mess. Recently, the city sent them a letter telling them to clean up their yard. Because my husband and I had just moved in, we THINK they assumed we had called the city on them. We hadn't - but I did do that once before a year or two ago on a visit.
Anyway, one of the daughters came over yesterday and told my mom that Layne (my husband) and I had gone outside in our underwear!! Well, of course, I laughed it off when Mother mentioned it yesterday. But today, she starts in again and this time she's asking if Layne would have gone outside naked!!!! I'm just blown away that she could believe something like this about us!! (Not to mention it's an escalation of what the neighbor actually said!) And when she asked me, she said she remembered me walking around my house naked and/or wearing a robe that showed my butt. I'm like, WHAT??
Now I certainly do have a different attitude about nudity than my mom does... but this is absurd!!! And I don't think there ever was a time in the past when I sunbathed or walked around nude around my mother since I know we see these things dfiferently.
I just can't get this out of my mind. What does this say about how she views us?? We DO have much more progressive political views than she does, we did live for years in California, that hot-bed of licentiousness (ha!), we do like Pres. Obama (she hates him), have gay friends, Latino friends (she's against immigrants in general)... but this is just over the top.
I'm very upset. I'll get over it - but I did need somewhere to vent. Thanks, everyone.
She has some horrible - I mean HORRIBLE - neighbors. They define "poor (not sure about that), white trash." Trash and junk is always all around their house, teenage daughters have ALL had out-of wedlock kids (not that I care about the marriage part, but still...), dodgy types coming and going... just a mess. Recently, the city sent them a letter telling them to clean up their yard. Because my husband and I had just moved in, we THINK they assumed we had called the city on them. We hadn't - but I did do that once before a year or two ago on a visit.
Anyway, one of the daughters came over yesterday and told my mom that Layne (my husband) and I had gone outside in our underwear!! Well, of course, I laughed it off when Mother mentioned it yesterday. But today, she starts in again and this time she's asking if Layne would have gone outside naked!!!! I'm just blown away that she could believe something like this about us!! (Not to mention it's an escalation of what the neighbor actually said!) And when she asked me, she said she remembered me walking around my house naked and/or wearing a robe that showed my butt. I'm like, WHAT??
Now I certainly do have a different attitude about nudity than my mom does... but this is absurd!!! And I don't think there ever was a time in the past when I sunbathed or walked around nude around my mother since I know we see these things dfiferently.
I just can't get this out of my mind. What does this say about how she views us?? We DO have much more progressive political views than she does, we did live for years in California, that hot-bed of licentiousness (ha!), we do like Pres. Obama (she hates him), have gay friends, Latino friends (she's against immigrants in general)... but this is just over the top.
I'm very upset. I'll get over it - but I did need somewhere to vent. Thanks, everyone.
I think that as our parents age their ability to make good decisions fades. Not that your mom is going to get a gun and go postal on the neighbors, but she was told something about you and she was unable to decide that it was false. So she either believed it, or she was asking you to confirm or deny the story in a round about way.
They say that we revert to childhood as we grow older, perhaps your mom is reverting to a child like innocence where she is more and more likely to believe more of what she is told than she would have when she was younger.
My mom gets mixed up with events and memories. Sometimes I let is slide, other times (but not many) I try to help bring her back to reality.
I am sorry that you are going through this, it can be very hard.
Gentle hugs
I wouldn't worry but I would keep an eye on mom. Maybe talk to her coworkers or fellow volunteers to see if she is really ok.