Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
My mother and I go back and forth arguing about her working out on the treadmill with these old sneakers of hers. I keep telling her she needs a more cushioned shoe/sneaker to avoid a foot injury on that darn thing.. NOPE, don't need those says she, I'm a nag and leave her be.. Okay, fine. A week ago Tuesday I came home to find her limping all over the place. When I asked her what was wrong with her foot, she said she hurt it on the treadmill. Okay, I said this could happen so I checked her foot, no black and blues, just a bit of swelling. I said, we should go to the doctors and have it checked because this could very well be a stress fracture.. It is a possibility right? NOPE, won't go, nothing wrong with her but a sore foot, leave her be, I'm nagging again..... She's never had a broken bone is all she kept stating... Agghhhhh! A few days later we're off to the doctor's office to have it checked. We were sent for x-rays and no signs of anything except a bit of swelling. All I heard for a few days was I over-react, I over-worry.... Over the weekend and throughout this week, she still can't walk so we made an appointment at her Podiatrist's office yesterday. He takes x-rays of the foot while she's standing to get a better picture. YATZEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stress fracture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Plain as plain can be.
I'd like to brag here that I was right, SHE was WRONG! but it's backfired on me, once she was diagnosed with a broken bone in her foot, she's become a helpless cripple with that boot on and this is going to last for 6 weeks. I'm DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She called me awhile ago to ask me if I should stop and buy a bell of some type so she can ring it if she needs me. NO, and if she somehow stumbles out to the stores to get one, I'll throw that thing out the window on the first ring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just thought I'd brighten everyone's day with my misery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd like to brag here that I was right, SHE was WRONG! but it's backfired on me, once she was diagnosed with a broken bone in her foot, she's become a helpless cripple with that boot on and this is going to last for 6 weeks. I'm DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She called me awhile ago to ask me if I should stop and buy a bell of some type so she can ring it if she needs me. NO, and if she somehow stumbles out to the stores to get one, I'll throw that thing out the window on the first ring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just thought I'd brighten everyone's day with my misery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would say that by all means you need to make sure your mother knows that you were right. Not so that you can gloat, but so that she will listen to you NEXT TIME.
And yes, there will be a lot of NEXT TIMEs in her future.
So by all means tell her that she needs to learn from this. In a loving and supportive tone of voice of course!
ps if she does get a bell, take it outside, run over it with your car a few times, then give it back to her. If it does not flatten enough, consider putting it on a train track! he he he, not sure if that last one is legal or not
She's making a big deal out of the fracture because she's never broken a bone before. There's precautions that she needs to take; no exercising, no extensive walking etc. but, she does need to do some walking otherwise muscle atrophy will set in.
Last night she tried telling me how she's going to need help with her bed making, general cleaning of her room, meals and helping her shower etc. My response: This is exactly what your mother did to you, you were her chief cook and bottle washer and you will NOT do this to me! Your doctor told you that you did not have to keep your foot completely immobilized. You need to do these things yourself! Of course I got the immediate pouting face! Poorest her in life, stuck with me attitude! She was a completely different person this morning, friendly and oh, walking much better. Makes me angry that she forces me to be mean and say things that I don't want to say to my own mother.
I'm always there for her if she needs me in any way but I will not let her manipulate me and run me ragged either.
Thanks everyone for the comments. I'm laughing but it's really not a whole lot of fun. It's just another one of those stumbling blocks in life that we have to maneuver around I guess.
Note that I said "some" and not all, and I never said it was always justifiable!
Yes, it is a hard journey for all of us. But leaning on friends can really lighten the load!