Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
Like I said in a previous discussion I was going away with my husband to re-evaluate a lot of things (i.e. how to get my mother to spend less time with us). We didn't get to discuss much as we were having such a good time away from it all, we didn't want to spoil it. However, it seems that God took over. For the first time in years and years, my husband seems to have no work. The phones stopped ringing.
So it's like the decision is being made for us. He doesn't want to move as it entails starting over and he likes his job, but if the rest of the week continues as it is...we either move quickly or we risk being stuck here if we run out of money (already happened to others).
Basically, it seems that I am leaving my mother behind. She already said several times that she'll not move as it's not fair on her moving to another country at her age. But I am 34...no job...what's fair? If my husband goes down the same road, what then?
I feel my stomach in a knot. I won't lie that I'd love to leave this country but leaving my mother behind, despite everything she said and done to me, won't be easy. After all, I'm an only child. She's been sulking all day (she's not telling me not to go but it's hard...the atmosphere in the house right now is horrid). She knows I tried everything to get a job (even jobs she'd disapprove of years ago because it'd reflect bad on her). I can't do anymore.
So it's like the decision is being made for us. He doesn't want to move as it entails starting over and he likes his job, but if the rest of the week continues as it is...we either move quickly or we risk being stuck here if we run out of money (already happened to others).
Basically, it seems that I am leaving my mother behind. She already said several times that she'll not move as it's not fair on her moving to another country at her age. But I am 34...no job...what's fair? If my husband goes down the same road, what then?
I feel my stomach in a knot. I won't lie that I'd love to leave this country but leaving my mother behind, despite everything she said and done to me, won't be easy. After all, I'm an only child. She's been sulking all day (she's not telling me not to go but it's hard...the atmosphere in the house right now is horrid). She knows I tried everything to get a job (even jobs she'd disapprove of years ago because it'd reflect bad on her). I can't do anymore.
My mother threw a massive tantrum two days ago. If I typed the details of what went on, no one would believe me, but things were hit and I'm sure all the neighbour heard her cries. Very bad (and it's not her age, she's always been like this). I've been ill for two days - first psychologically and today also not so well physically. The psychological abuse is such I'm left wanting to die, even if now I stand up to her I still hear what's said, the rage...it's so exhausting.
Sometimes I do think dying would be easier than having to choose between living with her or leaving her (and the guilt that'll bring...will I even be able to pursue a career when I'm psychologically unwell)?
Please look after yourself and your marriage. Don't make the same mistakes I have. You can't go back and do things differently afterwards. I beat myself up everyday for the choices I made.