Hi again, crazyenough2, Just saw this one after posting response on your other. Yes, my mom had dementia also, and with this it is very difficult to assess the true amount of pain they are in, so asking is pretty difficult to assume they even know. My sister and I talked about this very much with mom. So here, you just have to go on her beahvior and mood. We choose to keep mom on routine medications for pain and sedation that she did not have to ask for. Hugs again. It's very sad.

welcome I am fairly new here....so I just will say hi...hugs and welcome to this group....we are pretty nice here....:0)

My mother was really deep into dementia by time I finally accepted it. But dad was in charge, and I guess he did OK.

For my dad, he never really recovered from his operation. Post surgery he pretty much responded "10" when they asked him for a pain level. I wish I had pushed them to try harder to get a more real answer from him. I suspect that the amount of pain meds he got was partially to blame for his confused state the last month of his life.

Sorry to make this about me. I guess I'm trying to say that there is no easy way to gauge what your mother really needs if she is in dementia. Go with what your heart tells you.

Hi. I am middle-aged, partially disabled, and my elderly mom lives with me and I am trying to relocate her.... She has no dementia or sever physical issues, she's just basically making my house unlivable for me because she's not happy she's aging. Long ugly story.

Point being: I've seen relatives with dementia, and it's so har dto know if they're in pain, what they do or say that indicates it. We kept notes on changes in my grandma---her delusions and their timing---and it really helped us realize that certain "types" of language came up in her dementia that coincided with certain physical problems. (Hunger, bathroom needs.) Now, my grandma may have been unique b/c her dementia was caused by a series of ministrokes. It wasn't episodic, like another relative whose Alzheimer's episodes began as come-go, then she deteriorated.

But it could help?

BLessings.

Welcome, know you are not alone. Hugs

Thank you everyone for responding,
I feel very helpless to help my mom ,i basically do everything to make her life pain free but nothing really helps. I do keep her on a routine set of meds, have raised the pain meds at times but she didn't like them so I went back to what she is used to taking She likes to tell people she has to broken hips, which she does not. Some days she is clear as a bell and others completely wacked out. I've been doing this for to years now, sometimes I get very tired as I don't have much of a life for myself, but I do manage to take time here and there just for me. I'm going to have surgery next month and will rely on my daughter to take care of me until I get back on my feet. So we will see how that goes. Again thanks for your support and reply's Crazy

Hello There, welcome to the forum. My elderly mother lives with my husband and I also. We both work full time so I know how you feel when you're trying to juggle all the care and working at the same time. My mother doesn't suffer from dementia and she's pretty independent. Still though, she's not an easy person. My mother's doctor has given her a few extensive tests for memory but overall doesn't feel there is sufficient results to determine that it's dementia and more than likely just aged related memory loss.

You'll find out here that you are definitely not alone.