Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
Hi there,
I would like to Introduce myself. I am Ayla, and I am 47 and unmarried with no children. I independently take care of my parents, who are 75 (Papi) and 71 (Mami) and both have organic brain diseases (Papi has Parkinson's and Mami has Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus). I do all of the housework and transportation, and help Mom with her bath.
The reason my only sibling Bob doesn't help more is because he has a family and I don't. Plus, before I became disabled by bipolar disorder I was a nurse. Doesn't also seem to usually seem to be the case that the daughter ends up to be the caregiver?
I usually have a good handle on things, but the last couple of weeks I have been ill, and I have needed a walker too. This really bothers me, because I feel that my job right now is to care for my parents. I have an autoimmune condition called Sjogren's that can cause weakness under stress, and that is exactly what happened. I was under stress and I had a flare. So I stopped using the walker on Saturday, but I still am dragging the left foot. I know that when the physical therapist comes tomorrow she is going to notice it. I just hope I don't have to go back to the walker. It makes it too hard to be a caregiver when you have to hauling a walker around.
So that's me and my situation. I look forward to hearing form some of you, and learning about your stories. In the meantime, I wish you all the best.
Ayla
I would like to Introduce myself. I am Ayla, and I am 47 and unmarried with no children. I independently take care of my parents, who are 75 (Papi) and 71 (Mami) and both have organic brain diseases (Papi has Parkinson's and Mami has Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus). I do all of the housework and transportation, and help Mom with her bath.
The reason my only sibling Bob doesn't help more is because he has a family and I don't. Plus, before I became disabled by bipolar disorder I was a nurse. Doesn't also seem to usually seem to be the case that the daughter ends up to be the caregiver?
I usually have a good handle on things, but the last couple of weeks I have been ill, and I have needed a walker too. This really bothers me, because I feel that my job right now is to care for my parents. I have an autoimmune condition called Sjogren's that can cause weakness under stress, and that is exactly what happened. I was under stress and I had a flare. So I stopped using the walker on Saturday, but I still am dragging the left foot. I know that when the physical therapist comes tomorrow she is going to notice it. I just hope I don't have to go back to the walker. It makes it too hard to be a caregiver when you have to hauling a walker around.
So that's me and my situation. I look forward to hearing form some of you, and learning about your stories. In the meantime, I wish you all the best.
Ayla
Remember the caregiver has to take care of themselves first.
I joined this group when my MIL moved in with us. My wife works in a hospital, I work at home. Thus I do a lot of the little stuff (shopping, assisting with cleaning, etc) and my wife does the personal stuff like doctor's appts and helping with bathing.
I hear you about the "daughters doing the care" thing. As a man I'd like to suggest that you NOT let your brother have a free pass on this. You need to have a life outside of caring for your parents just as much as he does. Does he do anything to help out?
Again welcome! Lots of good people here who have walked their version of the path we all are on. I assume that you will find people here who are dealing with many of the same issues you are.
The big message is that you are not alone in your struggles!
For me, I think the adult child that lives closest usually is the one that ends up doing the most. I have a brother and sister that live in the mid-west and west coast; we're on the east coast where my mother lives - so LUCKY me....... We asked her to move in with us about 3 years ago since we were always together anyway. I have my days now that I wish I hadn't asked her and then I have days that I'm glad she's there.
I've not felt well the last couple of weeks either and then came down with a miserable sore throat and headache. Well, that turned out to be a strep throat. Normally whenever I've come down with something my mother has a tendency to ignore it and demand more of my time but this week she's been great. She made my favorite soup; bought fisherman yarn to make me a fisherman sweater and bought a Vitamix blender with all the fruits and veggies to make smoothies.
I'm loving her this week....... hyprocrite that I am.. Someone remind me when I'm off on a tangent about her that she does have a good side... Sometimes!!!!!!!!!!
If either one of your parents was in the military, you may wish to check with Veterans Administration for in-home care services. The application process can be a long one but may be worthwhile. Also, check with your county's social service agency. They can provide referrals to volunteers who can provide some services you may need, as well as referrals to caregivers and other services for which your parents may qualify.