Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
My mom came home last night via ambulance. They put her on the couch and she has been stuck there ever since - for 23 hours. Right now she is stuck between two cushions and she either can't or just won't get up. She won't even sit up.
All of this means she is going to the bathroom in her diaper, but the diaper holds only so much fluid so yeah it's not good. And I'm unable to change her due to the position she is in.
But that is the least of my worries. My problem is what do I do about my mom? Do I call 911?
I tried motivating my mom by telling her this means she will have to go in a home, but she just guilt trips me and it works. Not to mention I emailed a friend about this and he feels like I should wait a day or two. But I don't see anything different happening and frankly the smell is bad.
I'm supposed to hear about PT and OT tomorrow. Do I wait until they come?
This is a horrible position to be in. I feel like this would be different if we had help, but there is a wait to get help. It would be a shame to see her in a home just because it took some time to get help in the house.
I seriously hate my life.
All of this means she is going to the bathroom in her diaper, but the diaper holds only so much fluid so yeah it's not good. And I'm unable to change her due to the position she is in.
But that is the least of my worries. My problem is what do I do about my mom? Do I call 911?
I tried motivating my mom by telling her this means she will have to go in a home, but she just guilt trips me and it works. Not to mention I emailed a friend about this and he feels like I should wait a day or two. But I don't see anything different happening and frankly the smell is bad.
I'm supposed to hear about PT and OT tomorrow. Do I wait until they come?
This is a horrible position to be in. I feel like this would be different if we had help, but there is a wait to get help. It would be a shame to see her in a home just because it took some time to get help in the house.
I seriously hate my life.
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I'm new at this and not sure what the procedures are
i hope I never put my children in this situation
Tell her you will call 911 if she does not move or help you help her move by a set time. (I suggest an hour at most.)
My reason? If she were to sit in a soiled diaper for 24 hours she will start to have skin issues. Remember how bad a babies bottom got if they went too long in a dirty diaper? And remember how long it took to get rid of diaper rash on a baby, who has the best circulation system of their life?
It is hard, but you and your mom have come full circle, and they are the child and you are the adult.
I have found that it often works better if you present things to them as a choice. My wife presents it to her mom this way when there is a potentially serious issue: "Mom, do you want to go to the ER now, or in the morning?" If her mom tries to say "Neither" my wife tells her that is not an option, and if she does not go willingly she will call 911.
Never bluff on a 911 call. If you say you will do it, then you must do it.
Please let us know how this plays out for you. You are in a hard situation, and there will be many times where there is not a good solution for everybody. We just look for the least inconvenient solution that still addresses the serious issue at hand.
Gentle hugs
But if you just stick it out and keep up with her as best you are able that might be best
911 should be used for emergency situations; not to ask for help in getting your mother to sit up, or to the bathroom because she merely guilt trips you. They will send out the appropriate authorities to evaluate your mother's living circumstances to ensure her basic needs can be met. You may not have a choice as to whether she can remain at home.
I would lay down the facts to her. IF, she does not attempt to meet you half way, then it's your responsibility to ensure that she is in a place where her basic needs are met. I would give her no other options.