I don't now about this dispenser but would love more info on it for my father if anyone does know about it. My sister sets my fathers meds up for the week ahead. I could do it but its the only thing she does for him and she would not visit him at all if she did not have to do this. That said she did not arrive last week and my father sat at the table and set him own meds up for the week lol. Methinks my father is playing us lol Anyway what about an outsider helping your mother with her meds? I mean like a practice nurse or someone like that . If they could perhaps set up the meds for her once in a weekly pill box and maybe follow up for two more weeks she may let you do this. I just found my father would often take the word or help from medical professionals when she was reluctant to take mine and my doctor always said it takes 3 weeks to make a habit . Just a though , good luck xx

do not ask her anymore tell her that tomarrow i am coming over to give you your meds to make sure that you are taking them if your dont take you meds you could end up in the hospital and i for one thing do not want you to end up in the hospital because of you not taking your meds your are on them for a reason to keep you out of the hospital.

give her the consequences of what will happen to her if she does not take them on time. and that you will give her the meds daily if you have to but she needs to faithfully take them everyday or else you will have to step in to give them to her daily.

god bless

its called tough love...........................

my mom says "no" in the stupidest situations that cause her own neglect. Sometimes the cause and effect method of explaining still makes them angry; but I'm not trying to discourage you. She could shout at you like she shouted at me once that her Dr. was "not her boss" . Well, she wound up in the hospital within a month's time after that, and then she started appreciating me more.

The main thing is 1.) find a way to say to yourself "I'll follow through and not let her first answer deter me.

They have bad reasoning but one thing is clear: they know how they feel and respond on a "feelings " level.

it is okay to tell her she is hurting your feelings and making you sad by not doing what she is supposed to do. Walk away and see if she understands later that she hurt you.

If not try to get home health aid or if you can't afford it yet be sure to call Adult Protective Services to start making anonymous visits to the house. They won't mention in front of your mother that you were the one who reported. They are totally unbiased. It will start a paper trail if you don't have one started already that can get you assistance from either a nurse or home health aide. For some reason, the elderly know they have to do what the "visitor" wants even though they fight against family members. Probably because they have such limited social skills and think anyone new who helps them is a nice new friend!

Thanks everyone. Very nice responses I will work into my plan.
I suppose our parents had some sort of plan when we were young and not able to care for ourselves.

I worked rd shift so have to make this brief and go crash for a few hours, The storms are coming up to our area and I will have to settle mom and my dogs after the first thunder clap.
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I have a DAILY MEDICATION MANAGER that I use with my mother. It can be set to a talking, visual or beeping alarm. I got it from a mail order catalog but can't remember which one cause I've had it for awhile. I've seen something like it in the 'Youcan Toocan catalog", (www.youcantoocan.com) If you did a web search for 'medication aids, medication reminders or medication managers maybe you'll come across something.

You have the right to explain what this behavior does to your life. If she won't take her medications, politely explain that you can not ride the roller coaster that creates for you.
Similar to intervention for addicts, all you are saying is that the behavior causes serious problems for you which you are no longer willing or able to tolerate. She can choose to take the meds and have you or continue with the current behavior and you will extract yourself so you can live a peaceful life.

Thank you all for the replies. A lot of good perspective and will check on the youcantoocan website for the daily med device. Sounds like a good place to start.

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medications reminders are great while mom or dad still are able to remember but i will tell you that they will eventually move into another phase where those med marvels will no longer work for you. so as long as mom is still able to take orders and follow instructions is will work for a while but keep a look out for when the day comes when that
system falls to the way side we do tend to look for ways that will be convenient for us so it saves us time but in reality as time progresses that these ideas always have to be changed as time goes. always be on the look out for the next plan in place when the task is no longer working.......................... enjoy this time while you can while it still works and look ahead for the next plan to replace it when the time comes god bless

My mom responded very negatively to her electronic pill dispenser... it had a female voice the said "time to take your pills" and it gave her five minutes to do so before it went into more urgent language and then finally set of a mild alarm-style reminder. She gave it a name, "Beatrice", and started calling me to let me know that "Beatrice wasn't going to tell her what to do."

I finally had to go back to (over) paying the nursing staff to administer her meds so that we could all get our lives somewhat back on track.

Well....I am still working on this issue. Even with a machine or etc...does not mean the pill goes into mouth and to the stomach!

TwoOnOne...the Beatrice story made me smile. Thank you

And thanks to all for your ideas and thoughts here.

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I REALLY need to vent! Thanks in advance for listening. After FINALLY getting my 83-year-old mother out of debt (it took years, we had to move her to ND near my sis where the cost of living is low enough for her to live on Social Security), she has now decided on a knee replacement that is only 80% covered by Medicare. She will incur thousands in expenses!

She has no savings, not a dime, and although she is living independently now, how long will that last?

My brother has already bailed. He barely talks to her. My sis and bro-in-law are just making ends meet, and so am I, with savings for my own future health and retirement. I DON'T WANT TO GIVE HER ANY MORE MONEY AND I DON'T APPROVE OF THE KNEE REPLACEMENT. I've hinted to her that I don't like it by reviewing the expenses but have not actually said I dont' agree with her decision.

I've had three knee surgeries due to a motorcycle accident, so I know about knee pain, and I'm living with a lot of it.

But I don't have any say, and the one who will suffer is my dear sister. I've talked to both my sis and her husband to express my non-support.

Please tell me why doctors do this? Sorry for the long post.

my father was 80 when he had his knee replacement and he recovered from it and it eleveated him from much pain and gave him more mobility. if you mother is broke what wouldn't medicare pay for the surgery is she on medicare? if not she should be someone needs to do the paper work to put her on it.............surgeries are better now and recovery is quicker now with less complications.

god bless

I get magazines that offer these automated med dispensers. Next time I see one, I'll pass along the info. Maybe you can find one on EBAY. Thankfully, mom didn't need all the meds she was taking, not even knowing what they were for so I threw them all out with her docs approval and replaced them with vitamins. I know that won't work for you but it saved us.

I do appreciate your thoughts everyone. If I can find a pill machine will get one.
May try to use it myself to see if she is interested in the way I sort things and keep track. Some times she wants things by example.
Tonight she told me her BP was good 118/70 and that if she took meds the numbers would drop too low. So she was going to wait for it to get higher first. 150/80 is what she calls safe to take meds.
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