Looking at photos of my daughter when she was little right up to just before the concussion saddens me. Nothing like what you go through - obviously. Just a sadness for the extroverted, happy, generous, active young girl who adores children and hoped - one day to have a family of her own. Now she sleeps most of the time, she will probably never have children of her own, she will probably never be able to have a job to support herself and the dreams of a stud farm for horses will stay just that - dreams.
These feelings are normal and part of mourning the 'what should have been'.
There are stages of mourning to pass through and I think that with fibro those stages cycle through a few times as each new phase rears its head.
The man you married is still there, he still loves you, he loves your kids. This fibro monster is an enemy that you fight together.
Hugs to you and your family.

Hi ashleyjannette- lowernotes is correct- these feelings are normal. It's kind of like going through the grieving process. Everyone goes through the stages and NOT in the same order.
You will get past your feelings of loss eventually.
Hugs, MelodyJane

Hi Ashly, I was your age when my husband started having weakness, pain, and the need to sleep a lot. I thought he was lazy. I would look at our photos and wonder what happened. Now many years later I know his disease was starting to show itself. I had 3 small children and was a stay at home mom. Me doing everything became the new norm. He managed to work till the kids were almost grown. I started a business and thought I had made it. I then was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis. Your feelings are normal none of us know what is coming our way. If I had known I wouldn't have had my children, they and my grandsons are my joy now. I would of made a big mistake.

Looking back like that on wedding pics, I reflect on all the dreams and expectations that took place on that day/at that time. All we thought about were the good things to take place, the fantastic future we were to experience together, a life of true happiness and love. Then at some point, along came reality; disability, caregiving, stress, heart aches, loss of so much including dreams. Things that weren't suppose to happen until old age, far beyond our thoughts at the time.

But for most of us, we do what we have to do in caring for the one we married, giving it our best as we give up so much, and living the vows we took "for better or for worse, in sickness or in health" knowing neither one asked for the position we were placed in.

Hugs & prayers.

Caring 1...your share was beautiful. Lowernotes, I am in the same position as you. My son had dreams that will never come to pass. I grieved for a long time. Then gradually i stopped looking back. I came to a place of acceptance, my heart healed slowly and i started to live a new life. I live one day at a time. Trying to see the nuggets of good things. It's not always easy.
I am not in a position of caring for my husband, yet, but I wish you strength, peace and most of all acceptance Ashley. In acceptance lieth peace. xx

When I look at our pictures I feel sad. I feel more like a mother instead of a wife or partner.