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secondary PTSD

PTLOVESD
PTLOVESD
Lately I have started to feel the secondary PTSD come on. It goes and comes and it actually has been away for a while, but it recently just hit me. When it comes I don't know how to mangae it and then i become pushy and annoying towards my boyfriend who has PTSD. Just a quick background on him, since that seems to come up each time in each post...he is an Iraqi veteran marine, no he is not in counseling, but does have an appointment scheduled and I hope this time he makes it. He has been diagnoised for about 10 years and we have only been together for 9 months, so needless to say we are still a work in progress. Hence why I am on here. Anyway I am starting to realize that sometimes when he needs a break, I also need a break. I am also having difficulty with the fact that he tends to limit our interactions with other people, including his family. His niece and nephew are older and when I am not around he hangs out with them all the time, but when I am there and suggest we should hang out with them or invite them on what ever it is we are doing, he does not want to. I am not allowed to see any of his friends because he fears that they will hit on me. We even went shopping the other day because I needed new clothing for a new job and he started to get anxiety over the number of guys that would be hitting on me. So he keeps me sheltered from the rest of his life and I find it difficulty to deal with this.
Any suggestions....?
Phoebesfriend
Phoebesfriend
Hello my friend, I'm writing to you because I care so please remember that.

Honey, I see Red Flags everywhere. You are doing all the caring and giving and he is doing all the classic signs of trying to control you ! This is a disaster in the making.

Please find a friend or family member to talk to. If you don't have anyone feel free to PM me. You are a good person and you need guidance ASAP.

Big friendship hugs, Phoebe
MelodyJane
MelodyJane
Hello PTLOVESD, I must say I agree with my friend Phoebe. Please, PM me if you'd like. My first marriage- I see signs of things to come that I went through.
Speaking only with love & well wishes, MelodyJane
BobSue2008
BobSue2008
Please listen to the voices of experience. Do not become further involved with someone with a controlling nature. I married at 17 to a man I would remain married to until I was 38. For TWENTY years, I could not have any friends, I was cut off from my family to a great extent. HE was the controlling influence in my life. MY LIFE was to take care of him. Period. Nothing else. I worked all the time while he had probably 45 jobs in those 20 years (no kidding). My paycheck paid all the bills. He was delusional about other men. If the phone rang, he had to get it (just in case my boyfriend called). that's what he thought and honey, life is HELL with a man like that.
THEY don't change, ever. Get out while you can. Like RIGHT NOW.
BobSue2008
BobSue2008
I need to add that my ex suffered from PTSD and an undiagnosed Personality disorder. He witnessed some horrific things as a young boy/early teenager and he never got over any of it. Even today. He is the same.
We have been divorced 15 years and the string of ladies he has been through tell the same story as mine.
PTLOVESD
PTLOVESD
Is it different when he is keeping me sheltered from parts of his world, but does keep me from my own world? He does not mind when I am with my family or when I meet up with my own friends for dinner... the issue seems to be more about me trying to integrate myself into his world.
Phoebesfriend
Phoebesfriend
Hmmm......you said it my friend. The issue seems to be more about me trying to integrate myself into his world. ".........If he really loves YOU.....he would welcome you into his world !!!!!

Please think about it.

Hugs, Phoebe
MelodyJane
MelodyJane
Please, make a wise choice- the best choice for YOUR OWN WELL BEING.
Love, MelodyJane
GiveMeStrength2LetGo
GiveMeStrength2LetGo
Does not sound enjoyable.
gramybear
gramybear
As I was reading your post, I too saw red flags showing up everywhere. When a man starts to become controlling and jealous for no reason, things can start going wrong very quickly. I am worried about you and if you have someone close that you can talk to, and is able to keep each of you separate in what is going on, then that is what I recommend. Better yet is if you can talk to a counselor about what is going on. I know this is going to sound somewhat ridiculous but I watch a program called the "Stalker" Every time it's on and I hear many of the signals that started with these women, I hear your story. I am very worried about you and I hope you will take Phoebe and Melody up on talking with you via private message. I too am available if you ever need to talk. I have been with a man who was controlling as well and I was abused due to it. Please make sure you keep posting and let us know how you are doing and what is going on. We are going to worry about you. Hugs Gramybear