I am sort of caregiver to my mom. She isn't bed ridden and can still bathe herself, but for how much longer I don't know.
It is very hard and frustrating being a caregiver. I often feel I am wasting my life unappreciated and unloved.

Ahh, sounds like you're a great daughter and because of that things will get better for you. Your my first message to me here! And I hope we continue to talk. Can I ask what is wrong with your mom? I know she loves you. My husband acts like he doesn't appreciate me a lot but I know he does and loves me. Stay strong Ghost wolf04.

I will listen to you and give suggestions if I can. I was a short term caregiver
to my mom when she broke her hip. Was caregiver to husband when he
Had a stroke. He is much better now. But still can't use left hand. What is
your situation?

Yes seeking do you mind telling us why your husband needs a caregiver? I was caregiver to my fiance for 2 months after he had a collapsed lung. My mom has had knee surgery but now she is just very overweight with arthritis. I guess she got used to me doing everything.

To make a long...story short. My husband walked into surgery to have a kidney removed because cancer was in the center. After that, complications because while during surgery his large intestine was nicked. Toxins entered his body and next thing I know he's in ICU barely breathing on his own needing dialysis because his now only kidney shut down. All this effected his motor skills. Doctor's we're surprised his kidney came back . Long hard time for our family and I'm sure a lot of people here have had heart aches to. I cried so much, I am unable to now. Maybe that's a good thing. I know, I was supposed to make a long story short..

Seeking-S, sounds like you have had it rough for quite a while. Do you have family or friends who can help you out or at least give you time off once in a while? That helped me a lot.

Yes beckyp, I'm lucky to have his parents and sister close by.we have been in this "new life" for only 1.5 year's. I say only because I have read alott of other caregivers on the site I was one and they closed, 10 to 17 years... I do get my breaks and he let's me get my sleep at night unless it CAN'T wait. Are you cargiving for a Loved one still? Spouse?

My husband went into open heart surgery to repair a heart valve. There was
only a 10 percent chance of him having a stroke. The operation went well but
six hours later he had a stroke. Couldn't talk, swallow, walk. I didn't have much
support. Listened to music, watched nature utube videos when I could. Left the house for a short trip to store to get away after I could leave him alone for
an hour. There are books on When your loved on is sick that might be helpful.
Writing in a journal is a good idea.

Sounds like you went through the same thing Tired. A surgery that is supposed to be common, done all the time without complications then something goes wrong. In my case I feel someone went wrong. My husband can't walk now and didn't want to do his leg exercises he was told could possibly help. Could you set him up with drinks and snacks and be gone for more than 1 hour maybe?

Ghostwolf04, it kinda sounds like my husband and your mom, that exercise would be good for them.

The stroke happened three years ago. He was sent to inpatient rehab when
he got out of the hospital. He got most of his functions back.
Can't use his left hand. Thank goodness he is right handed. I wouldn't
leave him for more than an hour in the beginning when he first got home
from rehab for maybe five or six months. His balance is good now so I
can leave for hours if I want. He can get a snack and put peanut butter on
bread. But I make all the meals. It's hard to do things with one hand. My
husband was cooperative at rehab. He hated being there and wanted to come
home as soon as he could.

You have a plus that he can walk. I try to stay strong and happy while thinking "I'm going to have to change him like a baby for the rest of my Life".. it helps me to be able to talk to other caregivers who "get it".

Busy day at work however, never thought being at work would be my relax time.

Hi Seeking s. how is it going? I am also a caregiver to a spouse. It is a long road and hard to find a balance on. Hope you are well