Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...
Hey I've posted here before but I just joined this group today. I take care of my father and aunt who both have dementia.
I am 32 and at there house between 6 and 7 everyday. I do basic CNA care for my father and I feed them breakfast. I'm usually back at my house around 9am. I sit at my house paralyzed by depression I have a cluttered home but have no energy to do anything.
At 1pm. I go back and fix a small lunch. There usually isn't much to do this time of day so I'm back at my house around 2pm. After that I sit at my house with a mind that's constantly running and I feel so overwhelmed and paralyzed by my life.
At 5 or 6pm. I go back to my aunt's and make sure they have a proper meal for supper. Sometimes my aunt helps out with cooking. When she helps there's a 50% chance that she will make some horrible unrecognizable concoction that ends up in the back yard. Lol
Despite all of that I have to worry about my aunts mood swings. She will sit and call me the most hateful things. That's a big part of why I don't stay there longer than I do. She gets upset and I don't like dealing with her. If I wasn't there for them they'd both be in a home.
I have been on this site for a year. I have many issues with my past that I have posted about in detail in my journal. I also posted in the Depression support group and go in a little more detail about my past. My last post there was simply called (me) I don't want sympathy, just advice on how not to feel so paralyzed by my depression.
I remember when I had no worries. I miss that.
Oh I got carried away.
At 7 or 7:30 I come back home and am usually paralyzed by my depression, not knowing what to do.
That's a typical day of my life.
I honestly believe that I care for them better than anyone else would. I am glad to do it but I can't even find pride in that even when people tell me how great of a job I am doing.
I am 32 and at there house between 6 and 7 everyday. I do basic CNA care for my father and I feed them breakfast. I'm usually back at my house around 9am. I sit at my house paralyzed by depression I have a cluttered home but have no energy to do anything.
At 1pm. I go back and fix a small lunch. There usually isn't much to do this time of day so I'm back at my house around 2pm. After that I sit at my house with a mind that's constantly running and I feel so overwhelmed and paralyzed by my life.
At 5 or 6pm. I go back to my aunt's and make sure they have a proper meal for supper. Sometimes my aunt helps out with cooking. When she helps there's a 50% chance that she will make some horrible unrecognizable concoction that ends up in the back yard. Lol
Despite all of that I have to worry about my aunts mood swings. She will sit and call me the most hateful things. That's a big part of why I don't stay there longer than I do. She gets upset and I don't like dealing with her. If I wasn't there for them they'd both be in a home.
I have been on this site for a year. I have many issues with my past that I have posted about in detail in my journal. I also posted in the Depression support group and go in a little more detail about my past. My last post there was simply called (me) I don't want sympathy, just advice on how not to feel so paralyzed by my depression.
I remember when I had no worries. I miss that.
Oh I got carried away.
At 7 or 7:30 I come back home and am usually paralyzed by my depression, not knowing what to do.
That's a typical day of my life.
I honestly believe that I care for them better than anyone else would. I am glad to do it but I can't even find pride in that even when people tell me how great of a job I am doing.
Sandy hit the nail on the head- please look into respite time away from your Caregiving duties. It is the best way to recharge & refresh your soul.
Hope you find lots of good advice here!
Hugs, MelodyJane
I think the most important thing is to get help for your depression. I too get depression. My son is profoundly disabled and requires 24 hour care but i sometimes think I am more disabled by my depression than he is by his physical body. I had alot of issues from my past that needed dealing with. I have healed old wounds. Amazingly i was able to care for my dad who died of cancer last year and can now support my mom with no resentment. I actually love her deeply and without condition which is a true miracle!
You could use a break from care giving. Could someone else take on one of the meals? We have meals on wheels in the uk. A hot meal is delivered and the person will ensure patient eats their meal as well as taking any meds required. If your issues are around your dad or aunt it is only going to exastibate your depression.
I wish you healing and peace