Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...
My husband is disabled and a chronic pain patient. My dad is 94 and wants to live in his house with me there almost everyday. Resentment is growing fast.
2 weeks ago my husband fell and the damage he done to himself was terrible. The bruising didn't start showing up for over a week but it's 3 inches from his belly button all the way around to almost 4 inches from his back surgery. I tried repeatedly to get hubby to go to the doc and he said he hurt to much to go anywhere. With all this my dad still wants me at his house everyday except on Fridays when a caretaker comes in.
My dad, by doctors say so, says he can live in his house by himself as long as he can use the bathroom and take a shower by himself which he can do.
I finally managed to get my husbands hair washed last night. And I got him up long enough to change his bed. It's the most he has sat up since the fall.
I have told dad over and over that I just can't be with him all the time and he refuses to come to my house even for a few days. My husband wants quite and my dad is loud.
With my health problems, I have Sjogren's syndrome, my husband's fall and my dad not giving a damn about either, again my resentment is growing along with a lot of guilt. Thanks
2 weeks ago my husband fell and the damage he done to himself was terrible. The bruising didn't start showing up for over a week but it's 3 inches from his belly button all the way around to almost 4 inches from his back surgery. I tried repeatedly to get hubby to go to the doc and he said he hurt to much to go anywhere. With all this my dad still wants me at his house everyday except on Fridays when a caretaker comes in.
My dad, by doctors say so, says he can live in his house by himself as long as he can use the bathroom and take a shower by himself which he can do.
I finally managed to get my husbands hair washed last night. And I got him up long enough to change his bed. It's the most he has sat up since the fall.
I have told dad over and over that I just can't be with him all the time and he refuses to come to my house even for a few days. My husband wants quite and my dad is loud.
With my health problems, I have Sjogren's syndrome, my husband's fall and my dad not giving a damn about either, again my resentment is growing along with a lot of guilt. Thanks
and I think, if it were me, I would insist my husband go to the doctors. that must be bruising from way deep inside...or bleeding.
I am sorry you are dealing with so much.
you must set limits for dad...or make him come over and look after the two of you!
but no guilt. it is only a drain of your energy and just makes us feel bad for a long long time. Tell dad no. you cannot. Period. "I love you dad, but I cannot."
Praying for you
Wife of disabled hubby, injured in Afghanistan as a contractor just over 6 yrs ago. He has suffered from chronic back pain and just had back fusion surgery on Nov 13. He, too has had many falls and several surgeries on knees and shoulders.
Add my 82 year old mother to the mix. Dad dies in 2013 so moved get here to be closer and I was the only option with medical super close. She has broken her hip and had 4 back fractured this last year.
Add my youngest daughter who just blessed me with a 2nd grandchild. Colin is what helps me but I am his caregiver while mom works. But daughter also had health issues after son was born. Then grandson spent the night at hospital the week my hubby came home from surgery.
I have had my own medical issues this last year with SSS, AFib, pacemaker installed, Gall Bladder removed and recently sick with upper respiratory infection.
Can't have hobbies or friends. Can't leave the house without being made to feel guilty. I want to believe there are people at my church and friends of my hubby that will come help us out or be kind enough to bring us food when we were having such a bad run of health issues and hospital stays. Not!
Everyone seems to be continuing to live their lives while we too "are stuck"
Just wanted you to know you are definitely not alone. If you want to talk message me sometime.