Caregivers Support Group

A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...

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How do you deal with it when you're sick?

ashleyjanette
ashleyjanette
My husband is disabled from fibromyalgia. We're in our twenties with two little kids. I've gotten used to doing 95% of the things that need to get done around the house and with the kids. But when I'm sick it's hard not to resent him. I think things like "I feel like garbage too, and you STILL expect me to do everything?"
I'm not asking how you handle the day-to-day stuff when you're sick, but how do you handle the emotional burden of being a caregiver when you're sick? I feel like that's the one time I really need my husband to be a support to me, but he can't.
HCARD
HCARD
I resent my husband a lot, he does nothing and expects it to be done by me. Regardless of how I am feeling. My kids are grown so I don't have that worry. I just refuse to do the normal when I am sick. He can feed himself if he gets hungry. No one ever died eating sandwiches. I only take care of me. It still hurts my feelings, but I also matter as a person.
gramybear
gramybear
I too have Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, anxiety, depression, and other health problems. I know that a person can go into a terrible flair but you also have to remember that you are important too, and you need some help as well. My mother has COPD and spends all her time in the bathroom or her bed. I have to be here for the most part, 24/7, except when Hospice comes in to give me a couple hours to get out. I am in pain 24/7 and yet, I have to do everything like you do. I clean my house, I do her and my laundry, I cook her breakfast and dinner, I walk my dog twice a day rain or shine, and I do all the shopping. So please know you are not alone. Vent as much as you need to here, pmessage people if you want to talk, and remember, please, that you have to have a life too. Hugs GB
blueviolet725
blueviolet725
I have been in this position since my husband got sick, but we are older now. I did the childraising alone while he was away a lot at work...today? I realized I feel lonely. He is right there, but I am alone.
It is exhausting.
could you get a 10 or 11 year old to come over and play with the kids for an hour or two a couple of days a week, so you could not being doing 10 things at once? I did it....and once I fell asleep while she was there...she and the kids thought that was so funny....geez, I must have been exhausted.
Yes, you can tell him that even if he feels bad, you still need more...if you weren't there he would have to do something for himself.
I am so sorry you are so stressed out.
deenamom
deenamom
Sending love and care.