Caregivers Support Group

A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...

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Don’t know what to do

helpless35
helpless35

hi everyone I need help my mother start showing signs of  dementia, and refuses to go get diagnosed or seek help, because she thinks nothing is wrong, 6 months ago I stopped working so I can be home with her, as time goes she has ups and down, She’ll forget from taking her meds, to forgetting a conversation we had ten minutes later, she doesn’t know what month or date it is, she’ll think something happened 2 weeks ago when actually it happened almost an year ago or months ago, when I try to fix something or help make  decisions she will be all for it, and than forgets and I got to start again or change the plans , as her caregiver I am so stressed out and don’t know where to reach for support, being her caregiver I am not being paid, so I went from making great income to zero, and she doesn’t realize how much  sacrifice  I’ve giving, 

Tired
Tired
Talk to her doctor, talk to a counselor, call the local Alzheimer's association.
Get suggestions from them. Will she go to the doctor? If not, can you trick her into going? You. Can't handle this on your own.
shadowlady
shadowlady
I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. It's very difficult on us and our parents when the roles change. I beat myself up trying to get my now deceased dad to take care of himself. I finally realized that he was going to do what he wanted regardless. If things get too bad with your mom, maybe she would listen to another family member or friend? You could always call the doctor and tell him what's going on; see what he suggests.
helpless35
helpless35
Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who took the time out of their day to respond
loveblued
loveblued
I took care of my dad for 2 years..he had cancer. He had a touch of dementia but it was only short term. It sounds bad, but at times I would just get up and leave if he got really stubborn. I could do that though...he could get around to go to the bathroom and to fix him something to drink. Now I only did this when he was supposed to do something for his immediate help and refused. He didn't like me being gone so he'd give in. Being a caretaker is so darn hard. Is there someone who can give u a day break? He was blessed with social security and retirement so I hired 2 women to stay with him during the day, one day each. They were older women and he loved their company. He mostly wanted me though.
Gabrieala
Gabrieala
Sometimes memory problems can be from another illness. Can you try saying that to your mum and get her to the doctor. I’d want a definite diagnosis so you can then research help. Then I’d meet privately with the doctor and say this is affecting you. Hopefully your doctor is compassionate about you being in your own and can offer support services.
Ghostwolf04
Ghostwolf04
You may see if your local pharmacist does consultation on meds. Sometimes the pharmacist can tell you if some of her meds are interacting or causing side effects and suggest another option of medication or vitamin supplements. I did this for my mom and got her meds switched and now she takes a good multivitamin and fish oil.
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